Alone again

Just made it through one very busy week and am facing another, with M & L leaving on their father/daughter camping trip today. Here they are right before the left the driveway. That will give me some distraction-free time to prepare for the upcoming college semester (which starts Thursday!) and L's homeschooling semester. I still have LOTS of material that I need to write/plan/and schedule.

Jasper is our little suitcase lover. He will stay in the suitcase/bag until he's ultimately ousted for space, and then he just stands on top of it.

Yesterday was our anniversary, and also date night. M planned a night out in Madison, which as usual, was a surprise to me. We had a very nice night. Everything went smoothly and was enjoyable. I was really tired yesterday from a couple of nights of minimal sleep, so I pumped caffeine in the whole night, so I could stop yawning and make it through the whole night. I accomplished my goal, as I was wide awake until 4:00 this morning! UGH!

We started with dinner at Dobhan. We had way too much good food, some of which came home in a to-go box for me to enjoy later. We started with appetizers--pakaudas and samosas, followed by dal (making my mouth water at the thought of it), and then my main course of masala dosa. I'm powerless over the siren call of masala dosa. No matter how many delicious looking items are on the menu, if I see masala dosa, I am unable to order anything else. I had a glass of pino grigiot which went down very well. I was tempted to go for a second glass, but didn't want to risk ruining the next event with a headache, hot flashes, or any of the other uncomfortable things that result from pushing my alcohol limit.

The entertainment was a concert at the Token Creek music festival. It occurs every year, but it was new to us. The pianist, Robert Levin, played Beethoven with a chamber orchestra. When we picked up our tickets at the call window, we were greeted with a Happy Anniversary wish, which surprised me. It was a sold-out performance, and was packed very tightly. As we got to our seats, M left me for a very long trip to the bathroom ( because there was a line, not that he had major business to conduct in there) which gave me time to look around at all the people I was trapped behind. As I realized that there was no way to get out without literally sprinting across the laps of the many senior citizens in our row, I started to feel very hot and trapped. I was just working up to the point that I didn't think there was any way I could be that trapped and crowded for two hours, I noticed something wonderful right behind me. I realized that I felt some coolness and turned around to see that my chair was right in front of a sliding glass door that opened out to the balcony. Ah, sweet relief! By the time M made it back, the crisis was averted and we enjoyed the fabulous music as much as possible when packed in like sardines.

We topped off a lovely night by watching the new footage on the LOST season 6 DVDs that just arrived yesterday. We were pretty happy with the new footage, as Hurley and Ben are featured. They managed to wrap up several loose ends with it, including the Hurley-bird mystery (my Hurley bird was named in honor of Hurley and the Hurley-bird mystery).

I can't end without saying my goodbyes to an old friend that I lost Friday night. We were on our way to our friends' for a few beers (OMG! Sam Adams cherry wheat is hella good!) on the patio while the girls (ours & theirs) played. On the way my beloved flip flops died. I tried to fix them, but no luck. I've had these flippies for probably 10 years and worn the hell out of them. They are so comfy and go with everything, and I'm sad that they're gone. As you can see, I've certainly gotten plenty of use out of them!

Also, I was chastised Friday night for using a pet nickname for L in front of her friend (who is two-years older and thus too cool to hear L's "baby names"). UGH! I was dreading this time but not surprised it's arrived. I still remember being about her age, at the mall with my Grandma. She used one of her many pet names for me, "Bunchy", in front of some other girls my age. I wanted to die! It was the most embarrassing, horrifying thing ever (at that age)! Who knew in a few short years, I would lose Grandma and never get to hear her call me anything again. :( I will do my best to curtail it (at least in public), out of respect for my daughters' feelings, but it's going to be hard to break a 10-year long habit!

Digital debut

Yesterday was my mom’s birthday, so after we got back to town from dance class, we joined them for a small birthday get-together. L got her a butterfly necklace that my mom admired when they were out shopping last week. She came home right away and told me we had to get back to the store to get that necklace before it's gone. Her big gift from the family was a laptop, so she will be making her mark on the digital landscape.

L is as excited as my mom about it. She couldn’t wait to get online last night so she could IM Grandma (even though we had just returned from her house) and chat with her at night. She loves the idea of being able to chat with Grandma online whenever she wants!

She is also feeling very lofty about being Grandma’s self-appointed Internet/computer tutor. She excited to get to Gma’s house this morning, because she had all kinds of ideas about what she wanted to show/teach Gma.

We’ve entered an exciting new era. :)

The other very exciting thing that happened over the weekend was that our cat house was delivered. They can’t use it yet, as Mike (the contractor) has to come back to put the roof on, and we have to get a pet door for the window later this week. We’re so close, though. I can’t wait! I didn’t expect it to be so nice looking. He painted the wood white and even took the time to put trim on it. It’s much cooler than it was in my head (and it’s SO much better when things turn out that way instead of the reverse!). No pictures until it's completely done and filled with cats!

The dogs are a bit concerned about the new structure and weren’t very happy to go potty with that THING in THEIR yard! They’re adjusting already, though. I think they will be pretty excited to see “their” cats outside by them—especially Jezebel, who is most involved with the cats.

Six Flags

Since my daughter insists on making stupid faces when I try to take pics of her, I insist on sharing them.

Yesterday was a fun family day for us at Six Flags. M, L, H & I went first thing in the morning, and Dej & Jake (her best friend and my other sort-of-child) met us there a few hours later, as they couldn't deal with leaving town so early (8:30 am). We lucked out with pretty good weather. It was a little on the hot side, but close enough to perfect that we can't complain.

When L had her 10th birthday in Jan., she had the option of having a party then (only because 10 was a 'special' birthday), having a party in the summer, or taking a friend of her choice to Six Flags Great America. She originally chose the party in the summer, but then changed her mind to Six Flags. Once Dej arrived, L forgot about the rest of us. She only has eyes for her big sister!

The four of us started out strong. I was a little worried about how H would fare, because there was A LOT of walking in the heat, and he's never ridden on anything remotely roller coaster like. We started out with the Viper, which I thought would be a good idea because it's kind of a wussy little coaster. I forgot that it was the wooden one. UGH! Nothing crappier than a wooden roller coaster and big breasts--not a good combination. I will never ride a wooden coaster again. Then we hit Raging Bull--another coaster. H LOVED it, while L closed her eyes and did not love it. I knew then that I finally had the roller coaster buddy of my dreams!

We then cooled off with a couple of water rides. Then dried off with a couple of the big coasters. We waited extra long so we could get the front car on Batman (still one of my faves, and L's fave; H's faves were Raging Bull & Batman, and Dej's fave is Raging Bull) and were surprised when the attendent offered to take a photo of us. The kids loved Batman, and that was M's last ride (other than the White Water Rapids) for the day. He doesn't have much tolerance for the rides. :(

M caught a few shots of us on Superman. L wasn't up for trying this one, so she kept Daddy company.

Dej & Jake joined us and we continued doing several big roller coasters rotated with water rides to keep cool. H was game to ride anything in the park. We didn't make it to the Giant Drop, though. We brought a cooler with food, so ran out to the the car for a mid-day meal. They weren't running any shows this week (and some of the rides and shops were closed), so we got to focus almost exclusively on the rides (which is the only part I like).

Unfortunately for us, we didn't know until we arrived at the park that this was the first week they were on reduced operating hours, so they closed at 7, rather than the 10 we were expecting. Dej & Jake pooped out at 6, and left a little early. They needed to take a nap--babies. ;) We stayed til 7.

M & I are a little sore today, and I have blisters all over the bottoms of my feet, but it was worth it. It was a good day--we had our family together (plus our quasi-family), there was minimal drama/stress, and a fun day overall!

<-- This was my favorite shot of the day.

Today we had our family pictures scheduled. In retrospect, it probably wasn't the greatest idea to schedule them the day after we spent the day outside at an amusement park. I slathered sun screen on all of us, but I still ended up pink. I smeared a bunch of tea tree oil ointment on my face before bed, and hoped it would look better in the morning. It did. Dej and I both struggled with 'fro hair, as a result of the excessive heat and humidity. I have no idea how they turned out, so I'm anxious to see them! I hope they are good, because I don't see going through this again for at least another decade! L was determined to give a sickly, fake smile instead of her normal gorgeous one (that can light up a room!), and she was a little grouchy today, so I'm just waiting and hoping for at least one decent one.

Today was better.

M & I decided to watch our latest Netflix movie last night after L went to bed. I wasn’t sure what it was, as he’s the Netflix queue manager. I figured anything that could distract my mind from the evil day had to be good. Ummm…not exactly correct here. It certainly did not cheer me up, but I am very glad I stuck with it. A few minutes into the movie, I was already crying. A few minutes more and I had an upset stomach. I was debating on telling M to turn it off and put something more cheerful on, and then a wave of self-disgust washed over me. Lots of waves, actually.

The movie we watched was a documentary called, God Grew Tired of Us. I found the title itself to be a powerful statement and very, very sad. The movie was absolutely extraordinary, and I can’t strongly encourage you enough to WATCH THIS DOCUMENTARY. Again, as I’ve stated before, it is the absolute least you can do. I consider myself to be quite aware of world issues and try very hard to stay on top of everything. I thought I was familiar with the multiple horrific wars and the fallout in Africa, but nothing I had read or studied had prepared me for the depths of despair these children experienced.

It follows “The Lost Boys of Sudan”. I, too, understand the nightmare of living as a refugee, but again, nothing I thought I understood prepared me for this experience. Here I was contemplating turning this movie off, because I had a “bad” day and wanted to feel better, when these CHILDREN had lived through more than a decade of …really, there are simply no words to convey what these humans endured at the hands of other humans.

I also pride myself on being a strong person who can handle anything. Nothing I have gone through in my life (and my life has not been a cake walk) can, in the remotest sense, even be compared to one day in the lives of these children. How could I even contemplate turning them off, because the suffering they lived through caused me too much discomfort? We watched it to the end.

That this situation ever occurred in our history is a tragedy. That it has occurred countless times, in countless places, and still goes on, is unimaginable. The one recurring thought I had throughout the movie is one that lives in my head all the time: I don’t want to be in a world where things like this happen. I just don’t care to exist in a place where such cruelty and apathy abounds. I also couldn’t help feeling even more hopeless for the animals. If we can routinely allow things like this to happen to humans, animals don’t stand a chance!

I want so much to be able to help these people, but how?! Why can’t all of us just live in such a way that we are dedicated to ending suffering. If our world, or even just our country, would change the paradigm from one of “each man for himself” to “we are all one, and one’s suffering is our own”, life could be so beautiful!

I was going to have L watch this and then loan it to my parents & Dej, but Mr. Netflix had it all packaged and sent out before I got up this morning. I checked our local library, which has a copy On Shelf, so I’ll just pick that up next time we go. I urge all of you to watch this in its entirety. It is amazing, life changing. I cried a lot. I laughed a lot. It’s not all a downer—the love, the family, the indomitable spirit of these people, the reunions—there are many moments of pure joy, even humor.

I now feel even more motivated to keep fighting in any way possible for those who most need our help—animals and humans. Despite what so many of the small-minded may believe, these two causes are not mutually exclusive, and most AR people are also human rights champions. I know there are some refugees being settled in Rockford (our little friend, Sonja’s group), and I wonder if there is anything I could do to help somehow there. Most importantly, though, we all need to watch this, so we all get motivated to really speak out and get the U.S. and the U.N. to step it up and intervene in these situations. I guess there isn’t enough oil in Africa for us to care about those people. In a country where so many of us have so much, we have absolutely no right to sit on our complacent asses and do nothing. The annual guilt-relieving donation (tax break) that is provided in the form of a check to some organization is not enough anymore. It’s going to take a lot more than our standard annual donation to make this world better. We need committed fighters!

I'm anxious for someone else to watch it! There was a statement in the movie, toward the end, that actually caused me to yell, "You have got to be fucking kidding!" , about the U.S. I really want to know if this is as shocking and appalling to others as it was to me.

A change of underwear can be quite refreshing

If you can identify the source of tonight's title, you win my awe and 10,000 old geek points. I think there's one of you that may potentially get it. We'll see. It's true, though. Sage advice--try it. ;) L, out of the blue tonight, announced that she was going to change her undies tonight because she likes the feeling of fresh underwear. (She does her official change in the mornings. This was an extra change.)

Let's start my day when I was getting ready to leave the house this morning. I grabbed the delicious raspberry-banana-pineapple smoothie from the refridgerator to take on the road for breakfast. It slipped out of my hand, hit the kitchen floor, and the twist-on top that was fully closed flew off. That allowed about 12 ounces of my yummy breakfast to explode all over my kitchen, from floor to 9-ft ceiling and everything in between. It was a nightmare! I wiped up the biggest puddles from the floor and lower walls, so my critters didn't end up sick or sticky. I saved the rest of the cleanup to deal with after work. Yay. I enjoyed the four ounces of smoothie that remained in the sports bottle.

The day went down hill from there. Traffic was unpleasant, both coming from and going to work. I was already stressed, because I had a big project going into production this morning, and that's always very stressful. Long story short...two of the three people who played a necessary role in my big move-to-production had made some Monday-type errors, adding more stress and trauma to the move. Resolved that and moved on to a problem with C#.NET code playing nicely on our production server. UGH! My move was technically completed today, but I had to pull out some of the back-end stuff until I figure out how to overcome yet another C# technical glitch. I arrived to work stressed and left stressed!

In between the work crap, I had some animal issues that popped up via e-mail & text. In one case, my friend's beloved dog was ill and had to be euthanized shortly before lunch. I was near tears the entire afternoon, thinking about what the poor pup had to go through and the devastation his "mom" was feeling. It just made me feel so sad, helpless, and STUCK AT WORK!

As I was sitting in shitty traffic on the drive home, L called to tell me she had found an injured baby squirrel on the ground while they were out walking the dogs. She, my take charge little rescuer, had already gotten the squirrel secured and placed in our very secure, warm holding area at home (which is also called our first-floor bathroom). I was just trying to keep it together until I could get home--thinking I had reached my absolute limit of handling life for the day. I very selfishly thought, "Oh no! I can't handle one more thing tonight. How am I supposed to fit this in!" (Mondays are my late day, so by the time I get home, eat, feed the animals, do herbivore cleaning, give medications, etc., it's bedtime.) I castigated myself for my shitty thought, and told her I was proud of her and to have her dad call Fellow Mortals, so we could drop the little one off (a 50-minute drive one-way).

M spared me the additional car time today, and he and L took the little guy in while I stayed home and took care of critter chores and smoothie cleanup.

There were some additional minor stressors today, which normally wouldn't have been a big deal, but along with everything else...UGH!

I'm sure tomorrow will be better.

I actually sat down intending to blog some thoughts & questions on respect that were generated after a discussion my mom & I had tonight. By the time I got done bitching and whinging about my day, I no longer had the energy to proceed with the original post topic. It will have to wait for another day.

Here's Basil, the latest victim of L & H. They wanted to give him a chance in the dress, so he didn't feel left out that his brother Charlie got to wear it and he didn't. They also made him a crown. Unlike his brother, who brought sexy back, he just looked like he was going to kill us in our sleep.

Just Jasper

Thank you

A hero has fallen, and it's now our job to provide support. Let's not forget to take care of those risking their lives for the animals by taking direct action! A little background, for those not yet familiar with Walter. He is accused of arson, burning mink farms and other buildings in which animal torture occurs. No humans or animals were in, near, or around any structures, and there were absolutely no injuries. Walter was set up by his own brother, who was contacted by the feds. His own brother betrayed and tried to destroy him. It doesn't get much lower than that.

Here's an outstanding letter, written by Walter. The references to 'Peter' refer to another great hero, the incomparable Peter Young.

“Self Sacrifice is the Price of Admission”: A Letter From Walter Bond
Posted: 11 Aug 2010 07:42 PM PDT

The following is a recent letter from Walter Bond, jailed in Colorado on charges of being the A.L.F. “Lone Wolf”.

Reposted from Thomas Paines Corner.

“Thanks so much for your letter of support. While obviously I cannot talk about my case, the government of the United States will not scare me into submission nor will I be silenced. I have already written to Peter about the day of my arrest as to clear the record and set straight the media’s lies about BBQ’s and what not, so I will not reiterate it here. I let Peter know to share that info with any interested party.

I am facing some very serious charges and allegations at this time and if convicted, sentencing could be quite severe. Nevertheless, I am in good spirits. Having the privilege of being a United States prisoner, I still have it better than most 3rd World people do in their homelands. And nothing they do to me could even come close to the plight of animals.

For my part, I shall never relent in the fight for their total freedom. Any activist that is truly effective at resisting or disrupting these horrible blood trades may face persecution. There is no cause to despair in any of this. When you are trying to change the status quo, self-sacrifice is the price of admission.

In the end our cause will win. Either humanity will perish after having ruined the biosphere and our Mother Earth will heal and continue without us or those who profess to be Earth and animal warriors will prove it and change the current of world history, as so many social justice movements before us have done.

However, we will not win simply because we are right. Progress only occurs because of courage and confrontation.

Feel free to share this letter with any interested party, in whole or in part. I hope to hear from you soon. I can receive literature and media (news articles, etc), but only printed from the computer. No newspaper clippings, magazines, etc. I forgot to mention that to Peter. If you could pass that along I would appreciate it. Also, any monetary support would be much appreciated as well.

Regards,Walter Bond

After being denied bail, Walter Bond will likely remain in Jefferson County Jail (Golden, CO) until his trial. Write Walter Bond a letter of support:

Walter Edmund Bond
PO Box 16700
Golden, CO 80402-6700

Baby Dragon

I had to sign a sympathy card at work yesterday (for a co-worker). Each of us in the department wrote a little sentence and our signature. I was at a loss as to what to write. I’ve found myself searching recently, more than a few times, for an appropriate, non-ridiculous thing to say that didn’t involve the word prayers, as in “our thoughts & prayers are with you.” Somehow just saying “our thoughts are with you” sounds incomplete, but it’s probably due to the fact that I’m used to hearing it with the delusional “prayers” in it.

It was funny timing, because my husband had just given a statement to the newspaper about a death that occurred right next to his botanic garden. As a representative of the garden, he was expected to give the typical trite, meaningless, pc condolences that help nothing but look appropriate. He offered up “our thoughts and prayers are with the family.” He fell back on the phrase we always heard growing up, in lieu of something more appropriate and based in reality.

I understand the position he was in. I sat there blankly staring at the card trying to come up with something yesterday for about 10 minutes. I finally gave up and went with “sorry for your loss” (still trite, but no references to imaginary friends). He was in a similar situation, only he had a reporter waiting there while he came up with it.

When I first read it, I was furious. I didn’t want anyone to think I was married to a prat who reverts to magical thinking under stress. Plus it’s not okay to lie and say you are sending prayers, knowing damn well you don’t pray or believe in that stuff. Then I realized the crappy position he was in, and we talked about an alternative. I also remembered that we have different last names, which helps at times like this. I’m still deep breathing through the pain, but I’ll get over it soon enough (unless all my friends decide to point it out and make cracks about it). ;) We couldn’t really come up with anything other than a plain, “our thoughts are with you.” Maybe that’s just fine as it is. It will have to be good enough for now, because it’s all we’ve got.

I met a friend at Farmer’s Mkt today. She and her two boys walked me back to my building. In the courtyard of my building, there is a big fountain. By the time we reached my building, I was drenched from sweat. Em’s three-year old wasted no time getting right into the fountain and proceeded to make me jealous by having a fantastically cool, wet, fun time. I stepped into the fountain and got my feet (and shoes) wet to the ankles, but that was it. It felt good, but I wanted more!

Every single time I leave the building on a hot day, I look longingly at the fountain and wonder why nobody is in it. People schedule meetings outside on the patio, where they can look at the fountain. How is it, in four years, I’ve never seen an adult standing in the middle or frolicking around through the three 5-6 ft high water jets? I so want to just walk right through the middle of it, get completely soaked, and then make the long, drippy walk to my car. I know it would feel good, and would make the long, hot walk to the car much more comfortable (though the ride home with a wet seat wouldn’t be so great). I can’t quite talk myself into dropping the professional persona I wear to work, as it would look very undignified and co-workers may question my sanity. But damn I fantasize about doing it. I foresee a day in which my courage overtakes my propriety (which usually only shows up for work), and I just jump in and do it. Here’s hoping it doesn’t take until the day I retire to do it, but it’s definitely going to happen at some point in my future!

Vivi's big day

Yesterday was a big day for Vivi! We noticed Sunday evening that her chin was swollen and enormous. We thought it looked very much like an abscess, based on our experience with rabbits. It looked like an abscess but she didn’t seem to be in pain or discomfort. She was running around normally, begging for food normally, and eating as quickly and heartily as ever. Internet research didn’t get us very far with it, so we checked with our guinea pig expert, who gave us a pretty scary prognosis (fast-growing cancer or thyroid tumor), based on the fact that she didn’t seem to be in discomfort, which ruled out abscess.

M and L were able to take her to the vet in the morning (as it would have been rough for me to take off at that time), where they determined she did indeed have a HUGE abscess. They would need to lance, drain, and clean up the area, stitching the wound closed. More good news was that the abscess was not associated with a bad tooth, which would have more complicated, long-term implications. We still don’t know what caused the original abscess, but apparently guinea pigs are masters at creating them, so it’s not unusual. Surgery is always risky with the pigs, because anesthesia is very touchy for them and they don’t always pull through. They left her there, hoping for the best, and I was so happy when the vet called to tell me she was done and okay!

My mom & L ran out to pick Vivi up as soon as she was able to go, so she didn’t have to stay in a cage frightened until I returned to town a few hours later. The vet was able to get out almost all of the infection. She came home with antibiotics and an order to use warm compresses on the area twice a day.

By the time I got home, she was behaving fairly normally, running around and eating. She did seem to have more discomfort with eating after her surgery than before, but that’s pretty typical. It didn’t stop her from chowing down her greens fairly quickly. She just seemed to mince a while chewing.

We’re glad we have our girl back home, but more important than that, Jolsie (her partner) is happy to have her back. Jolsie is a very old man who’s already lost at least one pair-bonded partner, so I was very nervous about how he would fare losing another! Fortunately, we didn’t have to go through that. They will be having tug-of-war matches over their greens for a long time to come, we hope!

Veggie Fest

I came home from work tonight to find M & L engrossed in D & D. I've lost the dining room table again.

I’ve spent the last couple days, instead of blogging, trying to upload a one-minute video to blogger. Still no success, and I’m fed up with blogger. As soon as I have a bit of downtime, I’m going to research some of the other blog apps, to see if they have more reliable video upload abilities.

Saturday we got up and went to Naperville for the Veggie Fest. It was quite a big event and was much bigger and more crowded than I had anticipated. I have never, ever wanted to move anywhere near Chicago until Sat. It was so nice to be in an area that clearly had a much more evolved populace. I was having little fantasies about living in that area. The lack of intelligence and culture in the Jvl area is really, really starting to get to me. A lot.

It was really hot, which made us less hungry and therefore less able to eat our way through the food court. Everything offered was vegetarian, of course, and some was vegan. I definitely would have preferred an all vegan food court. There is a Vegan Mania event in Chicago this Oct., and we will most likely attend that, too. There were many vendors and it was hard to choose what we wanted. The kids played it safe, going with veggie burgers (what a waste!). M & I got masala dosa. M, being a much more ambitious eater than the rest of us went back later and got another meal (pad thai? I think). The kids each got a snow cone, and H and I enjoyed some smoothies (which I could live on) that were among the best we’d ever had.

The only down side of the event (besides not being vegan) was that it was sponsored by a spirituality center of some sort (New Age crap, it seemed). There were several vendors of that genre there—many more of them than there were of animal rights or other groups focused on making the world a better place. These groups seem to be so overly invested in the navel gazing that they do at length and then discuss, that they don’t have time left to try to make the world a better place. (I spent my time in the world of woo. Then I woke up, stopped thinking about myself, and went about the work of trying to make the world a better place.) We certainly didn’t have to stop at any of those booths, but it was disappointing to see so much space wasted on shallow fairy-tale type pursuits and superstitions.

They did have many good vendors and a lot of games and crafts for kids. We played a vegetable & fruit game (trying to figure out what the 20 exotic samples were). We knew most of them but got fooled by the largest beet (by far) we've ever seen. The size threw us.

We had a good time there, overall, and headed back north in the mid-afternoon. We were scheduled to meet my parents at the Rkfd Borders and arrived late. We hung out there, while L pulled her divide-and-conquer-routine, scoring herself double the books she was told she could get. She’s learned how to exploit the fact that M & I always separate at the bookstore and only reunite at the cash register, when he piles his selections on the counter. She gives him her allotted number of selections. She also gives me her allotted number of selections. I hadn’t jumped her for this, because I was actually impressed by how clever she was about the whole thing. I need to address it now, though, because it’s not good for her character to allow this to continue.

We returned Saturday night to a long night of chores, as our normal all-day Sat. chores were still there waiting when we got home. Sunday I finally moved on to the next project on my list, ripping the carpet off the basement stairs and painting the stairs. I finished the long run of stairs but will have to do the short run of four that remain next weekend. It’s a little tricky, because all of the animals have to be kept off the steps for the whole day. They don’t like being kept out of any area, so they spend the day obsessing over ways they can get past the blockades.
The task wasn’t fun, and like every other project in our house, turned out to be more than I anticipated. Under the carpeting, which wasn’t particularly easy to get off, there were treads glued onto the wood steps. They were old and a couple were coming up around the edges, so I knew I had to rip them all off as well. That was hard work! After I finally got them all pulled/scraped off, I had to sand the steps, so they were smooth and even for the paint. After a couple of disasters that involved walking on the wet paint, everything was finally dry and looking good last night. Now that I think about it, I will probably work on the smaller run of steps this week instead of waiting for the weekend.

It is nice to return to normal this week, now that dance camp is finished! I did miss my little chatterbox on the ride home, but definitely didn’t miss all the extra driving time and extra time spent in rush-hour traffic! Maybe THIS will be the week I finally make it out to the garden to reclaim it from the weeds. Then again, my hands are pretty crippled up from doing the stair project, so I may have to resort to weeding with my teeth. Maybe I will wait until next week to garden.

L painted this pot last week in dance camp.

Last day of dance camp

Tonight we attended L's dance camp performance, which ended a very long week of traveling back and forth to camp every day. She had a fantastic week! She had fun, made friends, and learned a lot. She learned several new, complicated steps and has progressed a lot! It was fun to see what they've done all week.

The girls performed a song in Sanskrit, Swagatum (Welcome), they read reports they had written on some of the mythological stories of Krishna, demonstrated some of their new steps/dances, and each girl demonstrated a yoga pose.

M & I spent yesterday hanging around Madison while she was at camp. We found some bangles in her size and surprised her with them when we picked her up from camp last night. She was so excited to have her first real Indian jewelry for today's performance.

I arrived a little early today, because she wanted me there to put her performance makeup on. They wear full, traditional makeup for performances. L doesn't yet know how to apply makeup (especially eyeliner!), and the makeup and application that is beautiful on the Indian women/girls makes a pasty white girl look like a vampire zombie. I got her makeup on, and she took off with her girlfriends, while M & I waited with the rest of the parents for the big show.

L did a great job with her song, dance, report, and yoga. We were very proud of her! She looked far too grown up, though. Beautiful, but much too old!

As I watched her sing and dance, I couldn't help thinking how impressed with her I am. She has learned everything so well and so quickly, and it's been really challenging for her. Learning dance and music from a culture that is so very different--to the extent that their instruments, rhythms, tonality, etc. are unlike anything she had experienced. The clothes are different--we had to meet with Meenakshi Thurs. evening to learn how to put on the various articles of clothing. The social mores are different. Really, everything is different. I don't think, as a child, that I would have had the confidence, energy, or strength to take on such a formidable task, but she took it on, committed herself to it, and excelled.

Pics are from our little family gathering for Dej's birthday last week. She was cuddling Charlie, who decided he was obsessed with chewing on her necklace (she had catnip insdie the locket). It was a nice day. The cats enjoyed some catnip from the garden. Grandpa gave Dej a shoulder massage. Then L brought out all of the magnets from her science kit. That kept the family busy for quite some time!

L started dance camp yesterday and will be going all week. Because it’s in Middleton, I’ve altered my work hours on M-W (I don’t work on Th & Fri) to accommodate the drop off and pickup. In addition to the schedule change, I have a passenger during the commute that I am not used to having. Deviations from my normal routine are very stressful for me. I don’t like them at all and like them even less in the mornings.

On one hand, it’s nice to have her with me that little extra time in the car. On the other hand, I lose my quiet transition time, where I get to listen to books on CD and enjoy a little downtime. Also, with her in the car, I cannot drive quite as …uh…energetically as I normally do when I’m alone. I consoled myself in the loss of my book on CD by reminding myself how nice it would be to have the extra chat time with my girl (except that I HATE chatting with anyone in the morning and have to work very, very hard to be civil with people before 11).

She’s not a morning person either, though, so Monday morning she brought her iPod. She didn’t bring her headphones, however, but instead brought her iCat (a speaker) so she could play HER iPod music in the car. Instead of my lovely book, which was calling to me, or one of the music cds played over the infinitely better car speakers, I listened to her flip through her music on the iCat (NOT a high quality sound system!)—skipping most of the good songs. She did play some Prince at least.

This morning, she decided (all on her own) not to bring her iPod. We listened to a Marilyn (Manson) cd.

The change to the routine has me feeling very off throughout the work day. I will be glad when the week is over and I can return to my normal routine. Though, I have enjoyed having her on the ride home. We talk the whole time, and it's nice. I will miss that!

When I dropped her at camp yesterday, she was a little nervous and a lot excited. I was very nervous and remained so throughout the whole day. I was even more stressed than I was during her College for Kids camp week. She’s done that before, where this is a completely new entity for us. I keep reminding myself that she’s closer to me in Madison than she was in town, but still… It’s new. What if she needs something and doesn’t feel comfortable speaking up about it? What if she gets hungry because her lunch didn’t fill her up? I can spend an entire day coming up with scenarios that might be unpleasant for her, so I can watch the clock and feel tortured. This stuff is so much more traumatic for me than for her.

Today was much better for me. I barely worried about her during the day. I couldn't wait to go pick her up to hear about her day. I really like the ride back home. Her chatting about her fun day and giggling took my mind off the idiot drivers on the Interstate.

I am NOT a helicopter parent! I sound like one…eeeww. I hide my inner ‘helicopterness’ from her very well, because I do want her to approach new experiences with excitement. I do want her to fully live her life and have relationships that exist outside of her immediately family (among whom I count our very close friends). I just wish I or my mother could be hiding quietly somewhere watching, just to make sure if she needs something, we’re there. What if she needs something and nobody is there for her??!! The thought of that makes me sick.

Dej needed that kind of mother when she was younger, but L does not. I have to remind myself constantly that she is not that child and doesn't need that mother.

Here's a random thought (because I'm killing time waiting for my girl to finish up her playtime with the herbivores, so we can read). M has about 3-4 nights a year that he has trouble sleeping. Because he's not used to it, it's extra horrible and traumatic for him. I sleep well about 1 night a month, and the rest of the nights basically consist of lots of little catnaps. Almost without fail, the nights M can't sleep occur on one of the few nights I do. He's used to me always being up at night, so he will repeatedly start talking to me without thinking, which of course wakes me up. On a normal night, I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, but on those nights, I can. Last night was one of those nights. I was barely holding my eyes open at 11:30, and that NEVER happens. He was up for a few hours beyond that and kept talking to me, but I really wasn't with it. It's so ridiculous that it works that way and seems odd to me. Any other night I would be absolutely giddy to have his company (while awake) for that many hours, particularly in the long lonely night hours. How is it possible that our timing is that unlucky?

Troubleshooter extraordinaire

These are some of the projects L made in College for Kids. I finally got them photographed, but not in time. You will see some liquid destruction on some of her projects. I may tell the story at some point. At this point, I'm still far too pissed to discuss it and am only now starting to not want to choke my husband. After I took the photos, I spent a long time cutting out around the drawings on the more damaged items, so she could try to put them on a new background or attempt a repair.

So many things to blog about! I'll get started tonight, but will have to catch up a little each night, because time is tight this week, as L & I don't get back in town from her dance camp until after 6. With dinner and animal chores, that doesn't leave much evening!

My basement cleaning, followed by computer issues have kept me from blogging for a few days. The basement is essentially done. It’s clean, and everything is organized and where it belongs. I am so happy and relieved to be done with this chore that has been looming over me for more than a year! I made a decision that I may regret for the rest of the summer, though. The garden needs to be weeded as badly as the basement needed to be clean. We had perfect weeding weather on Saturday—low 70’s and cloudy. I was on a roll with the basement and just couldn’t pull myself away! Now it’s back up to the usual 90’s, which is way too hot for me to work during daylight hours!

On to the computer issues, which I’m still kicking myself over! My laptop’s cable quit working ages ago. I can’t even remember what happened to it. I ordered a replacement, not from Toshiba, but another brand that was cheaper. That allowed me to get 2 power cables instead of just one, which given the short lifespan of cables in our house and the fact that M’s laptop is a Toshiba also, it left us one for backup. Cables arrived, everything was great for a few months. I found that the new cable, started having problems connecting reliably. A careful inspection revealed what looked suspiciously like a tooth mark on the portion that plugged into the machine. I wiggled and kept that cord going until it just stopped connecting at all.

Then I switched to the backup. That worked well for a few weeks, up until last week. I started having to wriggle the cord and really push hard to get a connection. After a few days, I found that I could get it to make connection briefly after a great deal of effort now and then, but not reliably at all. This effectively limited my daily computer time to the very brief life of my battery along with the minimal recharge time it got while I pushed and wriggled the cord until my hands cramped up. No blogging, for sure. I basically limited myself to quick e-mail checks.

Here’s where the idiocy comes in. I decided that the likelihood of this second cable going bad was fairly improbable, statistically, and therefore threw out my normal methodological troubleshooting, which I am normally quite good at. I pride myself on having excellent troubleshooting skills. People pay me money to troubleshoot. So, at this point I just took the leap that the female adapter connector on my machine was bad—probably because I had loosened it while insisting on pushing and wiggling the cable in an effort to be cheap. I kicked myself for hosing my computer instead of just giving up on the cable right away. I informed M that I would need to take the computer in to have it repaired, as I didn’t have the time or the inclination to futz with it. Fortunately, I didn’t have the time or inclination to take it in until the following day.

Just as we were getting ready to leave yesterday to take L to dance, the rogue troubleshooter that lives in my brain started screaming at me. I told M I wanted to check one thing quickly before I take the machine in. I got the Toshiba cable that came with his machine and plugged it into mine. It connected perfectly, and stayed connected with no shoving, wriggling. Why didn’t I do that when my cable first gave out earlier in the week and save myself the stress and frustration? Just to complete the whole, whopping, three-minute troubleshooting process I had previously ignored, we plugged the bad cable into M’s Toshiba. It didn’t work. What a surprise. He pointed out that the connection made by the Toshiba cable was much firmer than that made by the replacement cables. In short, my laziness in skipping the short troubleshooting process that I knew should be followed, caused me inconvenience, stress, and nearly the cost of an unnecessary computer repair. I’d like to say I was distracted by my focus on cleaning the basement, but I think it had more to do with laziness and me being in a very fatalistic state of mind these days (of course it can’t be the cable—that’s too easy, it must be the most horrible and expensive problem—faulty laptop). That three minutes I saved at the beginning of the whole fiasco didn’t do much to offset the time, energy, and stress I exerted on the situation.

I’ve ordered a replacement cable—Toshiba this time. In the meantime, M & I are sharing his. Now I’m free to blog and surf the net at will.