Treat Yo'self

I was thinking it had been about six weeks since my last post, but YIKES--more than two months. I really need to set aside a set time on at least a weekly basis, so I remember to blog. I'm still struggling with meeting my responsibilities in the too-short time I have each day, but additionally, I'm now out of the habit and simply forget to blog.

I got a very cool birthday gift this year.  (My birthday was last week.)  I don't generally like my birthday or like gifts/cards at all--for many, many reasons.  However, my friend, Julie (a smart and stubborn woman) was determined to get me a gift. She knows me well enough to know I am a nightmare to shop for. I don't like waste at all; I don't want stuff taking up space around my house and serving no purpose; I don't like my friends spending money on me (it could be donated to a better cause than me); I boycott the majority of companies/businesses for ethical/moral reasons, so finding vegan, fair-trade, ethically-sourced, high-quality products from a company with tolerable business practices is an epic endeavor. Other than wasting her time and a nominal amount of money, she got me a gift without throwing me into paroxysms of guilt.

First, the packaging: She used a wicker basket (we are rabbit people, so we buy those by the ton from thrift stores) from her rabbit supply.  The cool-looking bow was made with twine that held together the hay bales she buys for the rabbits.  The wicker basket, now that it's empty, will make a wonderful hay-holder/toy for the rabbits.  The twine is used by my birds, who love to separate the strands and build with them.

Then, the gift: She gathered one of each kind of organic root vegetable (garlic, onion, leek, each type of potato, each type of sweet potato/yam, celeriac, rutabaga, turnip, parsnip, carrot, etc.) and a handful of other veggies.  It was fun, and pretty, and very useful.

The next day was my "kitchen day" (usually Sundays, when I make/prep the majority of the meals for the week), so I was anxious to make something delicious. I turned all of that into this root vegetable chili.  I followed this recipe loosely, but I obviously had different/additional ingredients and a ton of it, so I modified and tweaked until I was happy with it.  I ended up with an enormous quantity of soup--enough for a full family meal (with lunch leftovers) and a second full meal to freeze for later. It was absolutely wonderful.

My parents & parents-in-law also insist on giving me a little cash to treat myself with, and that is paying for another workout program. I was hoping Shaun T's T25 Delta would be out by now, but no sign of it yet. :(  I have spent the last two weeks evaluating programs and have settled on Body Beast.  I'm as excited as I can be for a workout that doesn't involve Shaun T!  :)  I like the promise that it will build ten pounds of lean muscle mass in 90 days. I'd be quite happy with five!

One of the most common questions I get from vegans and non-vegans is, "what do you eat?"  Let's see how well I do at sticking with this...I'm going to try to list out my Sunday meal prep results each week, to give an idea of what we eat.  I generally focus on getting the first part of the week's meals done. I don't so much worry about Fri-Sun., as I have more time and flexibility on non-work days and often have leftovers that I use to fill in some of those meals as well.  It won't be a full week's worth of meals, but at least a general idea.  This is somewhat complicated by the fact that I don't really have names for many of my meals (and many are simply thrown together with no recipe). Also, food photography isn't my forte, and I don't want to post pictures that make delicious food look ugly. I will provide recipes if they're available digitally.

Yesterday, I prepped the following meals

• "Mexican lasagna" (Spanish rice, seasoned black refried beans, tomatoes, Daiya;  topped with tortilla chips, salsa, sour cream)     
• Minestrone soup
• Red beans & rice
• Stir-fried veggies (broc., cauli., carrots, water chestnuts, peppers) in peanut sauce (I will serve over barley or quinoa):  The linked recipe includes the burgers that this peanut sauce was originally intended for. The burgers are delicious, and I make them often. The sauce is fantastic and very versatile, so I tend to make a big batch of it and use it as a marinade, topping for burgers, or mixed in with any pasta/grain/veggie combo. It's an easy way to make quick, amazing dishes with minimal effort.

I returned to classes Tuesday and survived my first week. It will take a couple of weeks to get settled into the new routine/schedule. I always have a really hard time going back to work in the fall and leaving the animals alone so much. I have barely left the house this summer, so we have spent so much time together that it's been a tough week for all of us--especially Damon, who is my conjoined twin and becomes completely bereft when he can't get to me. It is, as always, thrilling to go back and meet the new students and see some of my returning students again. I've never quite figured out why my normally misanthropic self so adores and enjoys my students, but I'm certainly glad my brain works that way. I wouldn't be much of a teacher otherwise!

I'm fairly unhappy with myself about this summer. I was less productive than I've ever been. I also didn't really do anything fun or exciting. I can't really explain what happened, but I'm so frustrated to return to work with so little accomplished. I ended up in some kind of funk--maybe the health issues and our animal deaths caused it--that just sucked up my time with very little to show for it. I need to have a supremely productive fall to make up for it!

L also started school this week. She is taking two classes (math and science) at our local high school and will be doing at least one extracurricular activity as well.  She will continue to work with me on homeschooling for the other subjects. I will also still work with her on math and science, as I view this as a supplementary eductaion--not a replacement. I'm not at all thrilled about having to deal with the cluster of a mess that is our public schools. The superintendent and several board members are not very bright people and have really created a nightmare in the schools--both for the students and the teachers. I have no tolerance for incompetence, lack of logic, or time wasting, and those seem to be the three areas J'ville schools excel in. If transportation wasn't such an issue, we would put her in Milton schools, but we just can't swing that with our work schedules. I have absolutely no hope or expectations for her academically (overcrowded schools that are forced to teach to the lowest common denominator will not provide the education I want her to have), but it will be good for her to have the social engagement and start making friends her own age.  I am rarely so conflicted on anything, because typically, when I'm this conflicted about something, I stay away. I am not the only decision maker here, though, so M & L and I had to discuss and come to a consensus for this school year. It's going to be a really interesting year. I am already out of patience with this whole arrangement. M has been interfacing with the school (after 13 unpleasant years of this role with Dej, I vowed to NEVER do it again), and the staff at Craig seems to be very helpful and as distressed by the disastrous decisions that the district stuck them with as we/the students are. 

Our school district's fearless leader, Karen Schulte, continues to be a piece of work. She never met a decision she wouldn't bungle, and she never encountered an idea she wouldn't take credit for. It's sad to watch the overworked, under-appreciated school staff constantly suffer under her poor decisions and try to carry out her ill-conceived plans. I guess the good news is that she's not around too much, as she stays quite busy traveling the world fruitlessly on our district's educational dollars. Why educate our students when we can send Karen on another vacation.

Bill Sodemann has mentally anointed himself as King of the school board, holding court at the meetings, using them to mindlessly blather on about issues that are relevant to nobody but himself, and to openly discuss his political opinions. Neither of these are appropriate behaviors for any board member, but this continues on meeting after meeting. Sadly, as long as these two jesters hold so much sway over JSD, it will continue to lose good staff members (and the poor souls who remain are suffering low morale) and students and will continue to be seen as a joke throughout the county and surrounding areas. I desperately hope they are able to get rid of these destructive forces and turn the district back around.

She has attended four days this week, with one of the days being a game day of sorts--no classes or education. I'm fairly disappointed so far with the complete lack of academic progress, and I'm hoping next week picks up significantly. She is already making some friends, and it's been cute to listen to her bubble over with hours of conversation detailing everything that happened at school. 

She is at a new friend's house this afternoon. I know this is good for her, but I'm rather stressed about it. I don't know these people or their household. The girl seems very nice, and I trust L. She has good character and a stable brain.  I'm sure it will be fine. I'm just not used to her being with strangers and will be on edge all afternoon until she returns. She is less than a mile away, and I showed her various locations in the area "safe spots" she could go to if she needed. I will learn to be less neurotic about her.  ** Update: She returned from her play date safe and sound and had a great time. :)

Damon is such a character! It has been so much fun getting to know him and learning to communicate with him. He has some very distinct and unusual preferences and is quite stubborn. I did determine after some experimentation that it's the cold temperature water he prefers, not so much the freshness/cleanness of it. He just really likes his drinks icy cold, as do I. I am known for always having my ice water with me and drinking copious amounts of water. I cannot stand water that's not ice cold, though. So while people may mock me for running like a bitch 20 times a day to give him the cold drink he prefers whenever he asks, I will continue to do so, because I get it. I would become completely dehydrated if my only drinking choice were room temp. water. I'm sure he would get water for me if he were able.  His favorite foods appear to be cantaloupe and bananas.

We have established some rules for him, because he always wants to be on top of me (literally sometimes!), and that can create some traffic problems. It has made my food prep difficult/dangerous, so I'm trying to establish an area in the kitchen where he can be close and see everything but not cause me to trip so much. We had to deal with the same issue several weeks ago with our workouts. He decided that he wanted to stand right next to me while I worked out. Initially, I tried to adjust and work around him. In addition to impeding the intensity of my workout, it also created some encounters that were uncomfortable to gross. He kept surprising me with random displays of affection, which are always quite wet and slobbery, and I wear very little when I work out. I did not like the surprise of a very wet lick complete with slobber strings on my back, stomach, neck (while lying on the floor with weights up in the air). No. 

We have some big fluffy comforters that we put on the floor for him to lie on (he's welcome on the furniture, of course), so I started using one of those in the workout room. I placed it in the room, near the doorway, and out of the way of our workout space. The goal is to keep him off the cushioned floor mats. That went really well for a few weeks. Then he started lying with half his body on the approved comforter and half on the forbidden cushioned floor.  Then we caught him moving his comforter onto the cushioned floor mats, which was quite clever of him and very cute to watch him slowly edge his blanket further and further into the room. We moved his blanket back to the approved spot, and he gave up (until the next night). Then suddenly a few nights ago, he just planted himself right back in the center of the room. He did the same next two nights, and very reluctantly moved back onto his blanket when called out. He is so darn cute!

Damon

 Damon joined our family two weeks ago today. He has become such a part of us that we can't imagine life without him. We picked Damon up from a Humane Society a few hours away (2.75 hrs), and we had to bring all human and canine family members to meet him before we could adopt. We borrowed my parents' van, removing all but one back seat, so the three dogs would have plenty of room for the long trip.  We had seen a picture of Damon, sitting in a large, empty room, and they had identified him as a chocolate lab, so when we arrived and they brought him out to meet us, we were shocked to find a lot more dog than we expected. He's huge!  He is probably mixed with Great Dane.  He was also hot and excited and had copious amounts of slobber hanging off his jowls, stuck all over his face, and he quickly slobbered us and the room up. I immediately thought "OH NO" and "I love this goofy guy".

He is happy, friendly, mellow, silly, quirky, and huge! I'm so glad we found him.  The trip home went well (more buckets of slobber), and the three dogs got along just fine. I was very concerned with the cats, because though he was temperment tested there and passed with flying colors, that's no guarantee that things would go perfectly in our home environment with uncaged cats.  I spent the first night having panic attacks ("He's huge, and I can't carry him if I need to."; "He could kill the dogs or cats if he got angry."; "I couldn't 'take him' if he got aggressive"; "The slobber", etc.), thinking "What have I done?"  The cats were not happy about him at all. Though they're exposed to many dogs, they've never met a horse-dog before. They spent the first two days on high shelves, looking like Halloween cats, watching him with antipathy and distrust.

As we got to know him and spend more time with him, my fears dissipated, because he's just awesome.  The cats are no longer concerned with him and treat him like they treat the other two dogs (some ignore him, some like him).  He has a variety of health conditions--he's ten years old, so we've been working on getting those resolved and/or stabilized. He has a troubling lump/growth of some sort on his spleen, so we are anxiously waiting to hear back on exactly what that is.

He's decided he's my baby, and follows me, always staying as close as he can to me. He loves the whole family but has decided I'm mom. He lived with his last mom from the age of 5 months until recently when he was left at the Humane Society due to his mom's poor health. How confusing and terrifying that must have been for my giant baby!

He's an extremely picky eater and has some very unique likes/dislikes.  He only likes to drink water that is fresh from the tap, so whenever he needs a drink, he will come get me and ask. It doesn't matter if the bowl is full of clean water, even if it's relatively fresh. He will not drink it. I theorize that it's a temperature preference for him--he likes it colder, and when it sits for even a half hour in the bowl, it's not cold enough. I'm not sure on this--just trying to figure out some of his strange preferences.

He needs to take medicated baths once or twice a week, so I was relieved to find that he's a really good boy about bathing. He steps right into the tub when I invite him, which is awesome, because I don't think we could get him in if he didn't choose to go.  He's very good about letting me medicate his ears, clean his eyes, etc.

He's quite playful and energetic for an old guy, but his arthritic body can't quite keep up with his energy level (I know very well how frustrating that is!). 

I'm not at all crazy about the name, but he knows it well, and I would never take away the only thing he came with.  We're working on his walking manners, because he currently pulls and bounces around like a drunkard with no spacial awareness at all. This makes it quite challenging when walking all three dogs.  I don't know if he was ever consistently walked in his past life, but he hasn't been for quite some time, due to his person's health issues. He's smart and wants to make people happy, so I'm sure he'll get better with his walks as time goes on. 

He's so sweet and funny, that I can't help but smile every single time I look at him!

He loves to go outside to a particular spot in the middle of the yard, flop over, and roll around in the grass. He is so joyful while he's doing it, that I usually stand and watch the whole adorable process.

Goodbye, sweet Basil.

We lost our precious Basil boy much too soon. He was only five and had always been incredibly healthy. He became unwell, and we spent three days working with the vet, trying to bring him back, but he lost the battle to cardio myopathy. When it became clear that he was getting worse, despite every possible effort, we let him go. Initially, he responded to the treatment and seemed to be improving for about an hour, then he took a turn. He was struggling so hard to breathe, even on oxygen, and the fluid in his lungs/heart were increasing rapidly, and he was so miserable. It was an absolutely brutal experience for all of us.

We took his twin brother and soul mate, Charlie, in to spend time with him at the hospital in his last few hours. I hoped it might encourage Basil to fight harder and pull through, but he just wasn't able. He did respond quite happily to his brother, and Charlie was very happy to see him. I'm not sure what he understood about the situation, but I hope that he found some kind of understanding/closure after seeing him.

Basil and I were very close, and I miss him tremendously. He was my talker and was very smart. We had long, meaningful conversations, and I could always count on him to hang out with me while I did my kitchen work. I can't begin to describe how much I miss him.  Charlie misses him so much more.  He's been a lost little boy, since Basil's death, and I've been trying to baby him and give him lots of attention, but it's clear that he's depressed and in pain.  They have always been together, and Charlie doesn't seem to like life very much without his brother. I hope time will help him recover.

Garden Stroll

Since my last post, Jezebel has had and recovered from her tumor removal surgery.  We got fairly good news--or at least not horrible news--from the lab.  The tumor will be back eventually, but it will return to the same area, be slow-growing/non-aggressive and non-painful, and can be surgically removed again. This will not kill her, so we are thrilled with that prognosis.  We hope to keep our girls happy and healthy and with us for many more years!

I continue to be annoyed by health problems and a series of unpleasant doctor's appointments and tests, and it's leaving me in a perpetually bad mood. As a little detour in this health epic, I ended up having to have sinus surgery on Monday. I'm feeling much better than I expected to after that but am reacting poorly to the antibiotics, leaving me unwell/dysfunctional again.  Grrrr.  I've really had enough of this. At this point, I'm wearing a very uncomfortable external defibrillator for my ventricular tachycardia. I'm hoping after next week's EP testing (the last round, I hope), we will be able to come up with a good plan for fixing this and I will never have to think about my health or see a doctor again or at least for the remainder of this year!

Another interesting development that we discovered in the zillions of tests they've run on me is fairly embarrassing--I'm quite vitamin D deficient. I've religiously avoided sun exposure and inadvertently made myself unwell.  Since the doctor told me that, I've been taking heavy doses of (vegan) D3 and trying to spend more time in the sun. After only a month, I feel that my joint and muscle pain has improved. I'm glad I found out about it before it got any worse, as my levels were very low, but I was horrified that I work so hard to be healthy and had made such a stupid error. At least that one's an easy fix!

I've been remiss with garden updates this season, but it's looking quite lovely right now. I really enjoy it at this stage--full of colorful poppies and lilies, and it smells heavenly.  My health issues have slowed me down, and it's definitely weedier than I like, but it's still gorgeous (except the North side garden, which I haven't done anything at all with this year, so I'm calling it the "wildlife habitat garden").

This year we finally have incorporated the girls' old play structure into the garden. They don't use it anymore, and we can make practical use out if it. We are running beans and squash up the monkey bars.  I intended to put planters up all the way around the tree house and grow food that the birds and squirrels would enjoy but haven't gotten that far, so that will probably be on next year's list.

I've left the very unremarkable, poorly behaved milkweed wherever it's grown this year, and I'm not crazy about the sloppy look of it, but we've had monarchs and monarch caterpillars all over the garden this year.  Given their current precarious situation, I feel like I need to leave as much as I can to help them out.

Mark's been working more than ever. I remember the first several years of our marriage when I was constantly annoyed and complaining about his self-imposed ridiculously long, invasive work hours.  I would love to go back to those days. It's so much worse now. Additionally he's been under tremendous stress with an individual working there who was so toxic and destructive, the future of the organization was in danger. That person has gone (finally!), but if they are to recover from the extensive damage done, it will take years and will probably leave my husband a run-down shell of his former self. I don't seem him much, and he's so tired and run down he has nothing left for his home life. It's frustrating, but I've learned after this long it's not going to change (except for the worse). I'm just trying to figure out how to pick up more of his slack when I'm already failing to keep all of my balls in the air.  This is yet another reason why I so tremendously resent my body and the health problems that it's throwing at me. I simply can't afford slow downs like this.

Normally by this point in the summer, my fall prep would be nearly done, if not completely done. Instead, I've only gotten about 5% done. I'm stressed about that. A lot.

Homeschooling--L is behind on math. We had a rough semester and didn't make much progress. We both got very discouraged. She's incredibly stubborn, and that's been rather difficult, as she's determined to do things her way, even when it proves to be the wrong way. She has gotten behind in math to the extent that we are working on it full-time this whole summer. I do not have time to spend like this, and I'm rather angry with her for creating this situation, but again--nothing to be done but get through it.

The animals continue to bring me more joy and more stress than I can begin to express. They are truly the lights of my life, but also the banes of my existence. We have a never-ending cycle of illness, medications, behavioral issues, and they are "on" 24/7. There is no "sleep shift" for me. There is never one minute of the day that I'm not on duty--even in my sleep, I awaken immediately to any animal sound (real or perceived).  Charlie (cat) has committed himself to urinating on every single surface and item in our household with no rhyme or reason. I rearrange, blockade things, clean constantly and try every other trick I can come up with only to find giant puddles of urine everywhere. This is not a health issue. It's completely behavioral.  It's reached the level of infuriating me, and I've ordered him a cat diapering system. I see no other alternative. I'm anxious for it to arrive, but it will be another 3 weeks probably. :( I love him dearly, but I resent him tremendously at the same time.  I have great hopes that the Joybie cat diaper will minimize my workload and stress level.

It's midway through the summer, and I haven't done one single fun "summer" thing yet. I haven't even made it to Madison to Farmer's Market (partially time issues, but also because of restricted driving due to health issues).  Not a canoe trip. Not a trip to Allen Centennial. No camping. No vacation.

This is just a small sampling of my current list of failures, and they are weighing heavily on me. I am determined to get it together.  I have to be stronger and get my health issues resolved, and then I can come up with a plan to improve and get more done--including more regular blogging.