Garden Stroll

Since my last post, Jezebel has had and recovered from her tumor removal surgery.  We got fairly good news--or at least not horrible news--from the lab.  The tumor will be back eventually, but it will return to the same area, be slow-growing/non-aggressive and non-painful, and can be surgically removed again. This will not kill her, so we are thrilled with that prognosis.  We hope to keep our girls happy and healthy and with us for many more years!

I continue to be annoyed by health problems and a series of unpleasant doctor's appointments and tests, and it's leaving me in a perpetually bad mood. As a little detour in this health epic, I ended up having to have sinus surgery on Monday. I'm feeling much better than I expected to after that but am reacting poorly to the antibiotics, leaving me unwell/dysfunctional again.  Grrrr.  I've really had enough of this. At this point, I'm wearing a very uncomfortable external defibrillator for my ventricular tachycardia. I'm hoping after next week's EP testing (the last round, I hope), we will be able to come up with a good plan for fixing this and I will never have to think about my health or see a doctor again or at least for the remainder of this year!

Another interesting development that we discovered in the zillions of tests they've run on me is fairly embarrassing--I'm quite vitamin D deficient. I've religiously avoided sun exposure and inadvertently made myself unwell.  Since the doctor told me that, I've been taking heavy doses of (vegan) D3 and trying to spend more time in the sun. After only a month, I feel that my joint and muscle pain has improved. I'm glad I found out about it before it got any worse, as my levels were very low, but I was horrified that I work so hard to be healthy and had made such a stupid error. At least that one's an easy fix!

I've been remiss with garden updates this season, but it's looking quite lovely right now. I really enjoy it at this stage--full of colorful poppies and lilies, and it smells heavenly.  My health issues have slowed me down, and it's definitely weedier than I like, but it's still gorgeous (except the North side garden, which I haven't done anything at all with this year, so I'm calling it the "wildlife habitat garden").

This year we finally have incorporated the girls' old play structure into the garden. They don't use it anymore, and we can make practical use out if it. We are running beans and squash up the monkey bars.  I intended to put planters up all the way around the tree house and grow food that the birds and squirrels would enjoy but haven't gotten that far, so that will probably be on next year's list.

I've left the very unremarkable, poorly behaved milkweed wherever it's grown this year, and I'm not crazy about the sloppy look of it, but we've had monarchs and monarch caterpillars all over the garden this year.  Given their current precarious situation, I feel like I need to leave as much as I can to help them out.

Mark's been working more than ever. I remember the first several years of our marriage when I was constantly annoyed and complaining about his self-imposed ridiculously long, invasive work hours.  I would love to go back to those days. It's so much worse now. Additionally he's been under tremendous stress with an individual working there who was so toxic and destructive, the future of the organization was in danger. That person has gone (finally!), but if they are to recover from the extensive damage done, it will take years and will probably leave my husband a run-down shell of his former self. I don't seem him much, and he's so tired and run down he has nothing left for his home life. It's frustrating, but I've learned after this long it's not going to change (except for the worse). I'm just trying to figure out how to pick up more of his slack when I'm already failing to keep all of my balls in the air.  This is yet another reason why I so tremendously resent my body and the health problems that it's throwing at me. I simply can't afford slow downs like this.

Normally by this point in the summer, my fall prep would be nearly done, if not completely done. Instead, I've only gotten about 5% done. I'm stressed about that. A lot.

Homeschooling--L is behind on math. We had a rough semester and didn't make much progress. We both got very discouraged. She's incredibly stubborn, and that's been rather difficult, as she's determined to do things her way, even when it proves to be the wrong way. She has gotten behind in math to the extent that we are working on it full-time this whole summer. I do not have time to spend like this, and I'm rather angry with her for creating this situation, but again--nothing to be done but get through it.

The animals continue to bring me more joy and more stress than I can begin to express. They are truly the lights of my life, but also the banes of my existence. We have a never-ending cycle of illness, medications, behavioral issues, and they are "on" 24/7. There is no "sleep shift" for me. There is never one minute of the day that I'm not on duty--even in my sleep, I awaken immediately to any animal sound (real or perceived).  Charlie (cat) has committed himself to urinating on every single surface and item in our household with no rhyme or reason. I rearrange, blockade things, clean constantly and try every other trick I can come up with only to find giant puddles of urine everywhere. This is not a health issue. It's completely behavioral.  It's reached the level of infuriating me, and I've ordered him a cat diapering system. I see no other alternative. I'm anxious for it to arrive, but it will be another 3 weeks probably. :( I love him dearly, but I resent him tremendously at the same time.  I have great hopes that the Joybie cat diaper will minimize my workload and stress level.

It's midway through the summer, and I haven't done one single fun "summer" thing yet. I haven't even made it to Madison to Farmer's Market (partially time issues, but also because of restricted driving due to health issues).  Not a canoe trip. Not a trip to Allen Centennial. No camping. No vacation.

This is just a small sampling of my current list of failures, and they are weighing heavily on me. I am determined to get it together.  I have to be stronger and get my health issues resolved, and then I can come up with a plan to improve and get more done--including more regular blogging.

Waiting

More changes--good and bad--to our household.  First and worst, Jezebel has a lump on her front, left leg that was diagnosed as a sarcoma (malignant tumor).  She will have it removed on 6/17 (unless they have a cancellation before then), and we will know after cytology what her future will look like.  Until then, it's just a lot of stress, wondering, and crying.  We've already determined that we will not put her through radiation, though that's an option. We don't feel that it's a good or fair choice for her. Our fingers are crossed that the surgery goes really, really well, with very clean margins, and that it's the type of sarcoma with only a 10-20% recurrence rate.  She's not uncomfortable or in pain right now, so we're enjoying lots of walks, runs, and swims until her surgery.

We took three birds in from the Humane Society (they got a bunch in from a hoarder), and have one more coming in a few day. Our bird room will then be at full capacity.


Eris is a zebra finch--male, I think, from looking at images online.  None of my other nine finches are zebras, but at least he's not alone anymore.  He's the cutest little guy who honks a lot. He enjoys "honking" back and forth with L.  He has a splayed left leg, but the DCHS vet examined him and it's fine, just a birth defect. He gets around okay, though I notice he has a hard time on the smooth wood perches. The leg keeps sliding away from him, and sometimes he gets so angry about it, that he bites his own leg. Poor little guy. They have a variety of perches and surfaces, all of which are different sizes and textures. (That's important for all birds' health to have a variety of perching surfaces.)  He's living with Mercury, Venus, and Gaia.  They seem to be getting on quite well.

Grace Hopper (gray/white) and Ada Lovelace (white) were from a hoarder and lived in a cage with a  ton of other parakeets.  They've made themselves at home in the room faster than any previously caged birds I've ever seen. They hung out in the big cage with Saffron for a couple of hours when they first arrived.  Grace Hopper was out and flying around right away. Once she discovered the swings that look out the window, she planted herself there. That's still her favorite spot. Ada was a little slower, but she came out that evening. For the first couple of days, she stayed mostly on top of the two biggest cages, but gradually ventured out. I was giddy one night to see her and Grace side by side on the swing, looking out the window. They've made friends with the other parakeets, but I haven't yet seen any interaction with the cockatiels (who are being rather weird and nesting again right now).

This shot is of some of the "old timers."  Top perch:  Hitchens, Dawkins, Sajni. Bottom:  Darwin and Poppy.

Heartbreak

Another semester is officially done. I got my grades done and in on Sunday.

We are way behind with our gardening, partially due to our insanely busy schedules as of late, the weather, and some health issues that have slowed me down again (I swear my body hates me and does shit like this on purpose just to torment me!), but we did get some quality gardening time in last night after dinner.  We had a perfect Friday night, and there's a little part of me that realizes that my perfect Friday night would also be considered perfect in a retirement home, so I guess I'm officially old.  We had a family dinner in front of the TV(!)--eggplant chickpea curry with pistachio pudding for dessert while we watched Cosmos (the NDT reboot). After dinner we went outside and gardened together until dark. Absolutely perfect.

We lost our Chloe a couple of weeks ago, and it was quite bittersweet to run into several of her "Chloe holes" while gardening last night. She loved to be outside with us, especially when we were all in back gardening. She always dug these pits to lie in, and she had several of them around the yard/garden, so she could follow the sun or shade as desired, get the best view, stay closest to the action, etc.  The area I was planting last night was around one of her favorite little Chloe holes, and it was heartbreaking to not have her there with us.

When we brought her home five years ago, we knew she had a very uncertain future. The day we picked her up for adoption (and the first day we met her), we picked her up from the clinic where she had spent the night recovering from her first of two surgeries to remove malignant mammary tumors. She recovered and enjoyed many more years than anyone thought she would have, but not nearly long enough for us.

She'd been struggling with horrible arthritis and joint pain. We'd been working closely with our vet, trying various medications to try to get the maximum quality of life possible for her. A few weeks ago, I discovered a new growth on her shoulder/neck, which proved to be malignant. She was scheduled for surgery to remove the tumor to determine exactly what kind (the biopsy they sent out indicated that it was probably lymphoma but it wasn't certain) and what her options/prognosis would be. I was having serious misgivings about putting her through surgery--she's old, she's tired, she's got chronic pain, and to add a surgical recovery on that really made me feel miserable. I didn't sleep well the night before the surgery, and she seemed particularly uncomfortable that night.

I was awakened early that morning to her crying, and when I went running to see what was wrong, I found that she couldn't stand or get up at all. She wanted to so badly but couldn't. I helped her up and found that she couldn't stand on her own at all. She was determined to walk around and go potty outside (after she had peed on the floor--which horrified her), despite being completely unable to do so, so we figured out that I could hold her up suspended, and just move her in the direction that her head and feet were moving while she made her walking motions. My sweet girl made several trips around the yard, smelling, then went potty outside like she wanted to.

I cancelled the surgery and scheduled an appointment that morning, fearing that it would be her last. I was holding on to the slight, outside possibility that the vet would say, "Oh, she just slipped a disc or popped something out of place. I can fix that right up." I knew deep inside that wasn't it, but had to hope.  In the time we had at home with her, her family was all able to be with her (Mark came home from work, Dej came, my mom...), loving her, massaging her, feeding her (appetite was still great!), and saying our goodbyes.

On our way to the clinic, Luce rode in the back seat with Chloe to help keep her stabilized and comfortable. It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day, and Chloe wanted her head out the window, which is one of her favorite things to do. L held her up, so she could keep her head out. I got to watch my side mirror--she had a big grin, ears flying back, tongue flopping out the side--she was a happy girl on the way there.  When we got there, they had set up a large non-skid rug on the floor with towels over it, so we all sat on the floor around Chloe, and she kept her head in my lap.

As we feared but expected, Chloe's problem was not structural, it was neurological. There was a tumor(s?) along her spine or brain that was causing the problems. This would not get better and could not be fixed, and we would not allow her to continue to suffer this way. We spent some time with her in the vet's office (loving her more, petting, rubbing her little ears--another Chloe favorite), and feeding her her favorite veg. canadian bacon until the sedative kicked in enough that she couldn't chew anymore.  She relaxed and was free from pain for the first time in months. We loved seeing her that way.  When they gave her the final dose, she peacefully, quickly slipped away, still with her head in my lap and having her little nubby ear (she had a small deformed ear that she really liked me to rub, as she couldn't get into it with her foot very well) rubbed.

We miss her so much, so many times a day, in so many different ways. She was really smart and a gifted communicator--she talked with many different vocalizations and had the most expressive face I've ever seen. I've never seen an animal of any species so determined to communicate with others and make them understand her. Through the years, I realized that I had begun to think of her as more of a peer than anything. I love all of my animals so very deeply, regardless of how smart or cute or charming they are, but most of them I see very much as my children. Chloe was different. It's hard to explain why, but if you met and spent time with her, you would know. She leaves and enormous hole in our family.

Family updates

Harley the Hamster - We've had her for a while, but this is our favorite picture of her cute little face.

Hikaru

L has adopted some animals--a pair of albino gerbil brothers (Hikaru and Kaoru), a dwarf hamster (Excalibur), and a young male rat (because apparently Star, her largest female has become naughty and unmanageable since her brothers died, so Neil deGrasse Tyson will keep her from picking on her sisters.  He's currently separated while he recovers from his neutering, but will join Star in another week.  They were all essentially unadoptable, due to unpleasant dispositions and/or appearance issues, so she helped to clear some space at an overloaded shelter.

Kaoru

Excalibur the Fierce

Neil deGrasse Tyson

Przemek the Bald

We adopted Przemek, the button quail a few weeks ago. I got a call and went to get him, knowing little to nothing about button quails.  Someone found him outside wandering around on a cold, wintry day. After pick up, we went immediately to the vet, because he had a nasty head wound. As it turns out, that's not uncommon for them--it's due to head bonking, which is jumping straight up as they try to fly and repeatedly bashing their heads on the cage top. We treated that and it cleared up in a few weeks. He's still bald yet, but I think we'll see feathers in a few weeks now. He's free in general population now, but he prefers to hang out in either his food tray, his sand dish, or on top of his produce/water station.

Friday morning we went to pick up nine finches from rescue.  I have never had finches before.  There are at least three different varieties represented amongst the nine.  They are very entertaining, and I'm enjoying getting to know them. I have rearranged the bird room to accommodate them--they're currently in three different (decent sized) cages, based on who gets along.  I'm not really happy with this arrangement, but it will work for now. I've been trying to enrich their cages and get them comfortable with eating fresh produce as they get settled into their new environment.  In a few days, I will make some more changes in there, as I'm brainstorming on the best way to allow them cage-free lives, while still remaining safe. I'm not quite sure how things will end up, but we will be progressing toward the largest, most enriched environments that I can come up with.  I got all of the long, curly, very tiny toenails trimmed yesterday, so I need to get to Mounds soon and pick up some natural perches that will wear the nails down as they walk. I'd like to not have to cut their nails very often.

My bigger challenge right now appears to be names. I'm having a hard time coming up with names. I don't yet have a good sense for personalities, so I need 9 names, easy to remember and with a fairly simple means of associating each name with each bird.

One of the finches is in a cage alone, and the note that came with them indicates that he didn't get along with the others. It bothers me a lot that he's alone. He's within a few inches of the others, so he can see/hear them, but I'd really like him to not be alone--that's detrimental to birds.  He (she?  I guessed "he" because the bird is very vocal, and typically males are more vocal) is the most interested in interacting with me. He will repeat a call back and forth with me, and his vocalizations are quite different from the other finches.

We were heartbroken to lose our guinea pig Oona, Luna's mommy.  It was very traumatic for Luna. We noticed a small sore on Oona's belly on Monday, took her to the vet Tuesday, where they said she was healthy and gave her antibiotics for the small abscess. Weds. afternoon when I entered the room for afternoon chores/feedings, I knew something was wrong. Luna was staring out of her little hidey house with huge, frightened eyes. I started looking around and found her mommy in the hidey next to her, dead.  Oona was an old girl, so not shocking but still a nasty surprise! It was really hard to see poor Luna so tormented. She's never been without her mom, and I feel so bad for her!

Our possum siblings continue to come eat almost every night. Seeing them together has been one of the few joys of this horrible, long winter for me.