Not What I Had in Mind!

my right! arm and the cervical nerve block they sent me home with. It just ran out last night. I miss it!

by my mom, Grandma B, who is guest blogging

Last Thursday, when I told my daughter, Amy/VeganMom, that I wanted to ride along to watch her and L and 2 friends roller skate because I was bored, I was far less bored than I could have imagined.

The hour drive to the roller rink was very enjoyable. We chatted and enjoyed the sights. We arrived at the rink and everyone went and got their skates, except me. (I am not and never have been remotely comfortable nor coordinated on roller skates.) I just wanted to watch the kids and Amy skate. She was an awesome skater when she was a teenager!

Well, I settled back with my book and read a little and watched a little intermittently; relaxing and totally enjoying getting out of the house for a while. After close to an hour, I picked up my book again when Amy skated up to me (Grandma B) and said she needed to go right away. I thought she was joking about being "too old and tired" to skate because she was sort of bent over and breathing hard. I was just about to say, "Sure, as soon as the kids are done, Old Lady", when I looked up and saw her arm. As I have experienced this several times with her brother, I knew immediately that it was broken and broken badly!! An inexperienced skater fell in front of her and she had no way of avoiding her and they got their skate wheels entangled and Amy fell (as did L).

We rounded up the kids, got her skates off and asked for ice, so that I could transport her to the nearest ER. The rink employees were very helpful and directed us "just down the road". About 25 min. later, we reached the ER. Time for x-rays, phone calls to Hubby, who was in Philadelphia, oldest daughter, her dad and the kids' parents.

Dr. came back in and said that he would put it back in place and she would need surgery tomorrow and she'd have to decide if it was in that hospital or the one in her city. Decision easily made to stay there and try to ease the pain and have surgery first thing on Fri. morning.

Time to drive home and deliver kids where they needed to be. It's now 12:15 a.m. and L wants a snack! Then off to bed so that we can rise early and get there in time to see her before surgery.

Surgery went well. She has a plate put in that I knew would frustrate her, but none the less, all went well. Phew! Now, just wait for her to be alert enough to be release. Now, because she CANNOT use her right hand, and she is right handed, you all will have to wait to hear the rest of the story from her. She should get her cast on next week and have some mobility then

I am very thankful that I was there to be with her and the kids that night, but I can think of many things that I would rather participate in to cure my boredom on a Thursday night! It really was not what I had in mind!

The first lilies and a dilemma

I was home with a migraine today (again!! DAMN, I hate this weather!), so I spent most of the day alternating between napping and watching the Casey Anthony trial. It seemed like every time I woke up, Bozo Baez was getting chewed out by the judge for being either dishonest, stupid, or both. Wow! The migraine backed off to a headache a couple of hours ago, but it's ramping up again. Fingers are crossed that the Imitrex will keep it at bay! I need a good night's sleep tonight, as my head pain kept me up most of the night last night!

We received a wedding invitation in today's mail. I was expecting it yet hoping it wouldn't come. It puts me in a crappy position, and I don't feel like making a hard decision right now. The wedding is in just a few weeks, so I don't have much time to decide. I have a lot of personal rules about weddings, because I do take marriage as a very serious socio-economic, lifetime contract.

Here's the situation. The bride to be (BTB) is a young girl--same age as Dej--who was Dej's best friend from first grade until a few years ago. BTB was one of those girls who dumped all friends and completely immersed herself in the boyfriend for years. She bailed on Dej when she most needed her best friend. That fact right there significantly changed my relationship and feelings about BTB. However, she and Dej are still friends, just not nearly as close as they were. That's really not a big factor in the wedding decision however--just background.

BTB has only had the one boyfriend. She hasn't travelled. She hasn't gone to college. She went from mommy's house to living with boyfriend and has never been independent. She hasn't learned to make her own way in the world, discovered who she really is, and her brain hasn't even fully developed yet! For all of those reasons, (in addition to the fact that boyfriend just joined military, and we all know what the success rate of those marriages is) I don't support it. So I think this rushed wedding is a colossally bad idea and do not remotely support their union.

THAT is the big issue. I do not attend weddings unless I support the couple's marriage and would, if called upon, try to help them work out any issues and stay together for life. If I don't feel that way, I do not attend the wedding. I would not have wanted someone who did not support my marriage attending my wedding, and I don't feel it is honest or right to go to others' under those circumstances.

I flat out won't attend any weddings in a church. I spent enough torturous years in a church for an entire lifetime, and have no desire to endure any more. In addition, I will not sit through any of that insane religious babble ever again. I did enough of that for a lifetime, too. It's time wasted, in a very vile way, and I can never get it back. My time is too valuable to spend it that way. It would be really easy to avoid this wedding if it were in a church, but it isn't, so I can't fall back on that easy out.

I also don't attend any food-based affairs that are not vegan or at least vegetarian. My time is also too short to be offended and disgusted by people callously consuming the flesh of innocent beings. It doesn't sound as though the reception will be big or include a meal of any kind, so I don't have this easy out either. This wouldn't really absolve me from attending the wedding anyway, just the reception.

I DO care very much about this girl, despite everything that's happened through the years, and though I feel she is ruining her future, I do NOT want to hurt her in any way! Not only do I care about BTB, but we are close to her family--particularly her grandparents, and I don't want to hurt them in any way.

It looks to me as though I have two choices: 1) Be dishonest and fake and attend the wedding or 2) Be honest, don't attend, hurt feelings. I don't like either of those choices at all. Damn my mailman and his reliable delivery. Couldn't I get a Newman, who lazily hides bags of mail instead of delivering them?!


Mark took these shots. They are quite beautiful flowers, though not typically looked at that way. The first is a closeup of a sweetpea flower. We have them climbing our fence this year. The second is a distance shot of the sweetpea. The flowers aren't very showy and aren't very often even noticed. The last shot is a stunning purple flower on a plant growing near our neighbors' garage. Any guesses as to what it is?

It's deadly nightshade!

Father's Day

The whole family left at around noon to go to MadCity VeganFest. It is the first of what we hope will be an annual tradition. It was packed!! We had initially planned to eat there, but M decided he couldn't eat in such crowded chaos. The event was very well organized, and we left with a few new t-shirts.

We then went to The Green Owl for a delicious dinner. Dej and I ordered the (vegan) eggplant parmagiana. It was the first time we had it, and we LOVED it. Everyone really enjoyed their meal.

From there we went to stroll through Olbrich Gardens. It sprinkled off and on, but we didn't get enough rain to end our visit. After we walked the gardens (where L caught a small turtle and discovered several large frogs), we went through the conservatory. It was Russ' first visit to Olbrich

We came back to our house, so the girls could give their gifts to 'dad', and we had a gift for my dad, too. It was a lovely day, and I was glad we could all be together.

Thanks to the rain...

Wednesday morning I came out the door to another gray, gloomy, rainy day. I noticed this rose and had to run back in to grab my camera and take this photo.


Here’s how yesterday's very important meeting day went:

5:00 am – Wake up and stumble to bathroom. Why, oh why, do I not know by now to look down, especially when barefoot? Thank you, Carrie, Queen of Giant Hairballs.

Fail to go back to sleep.
Try to put makeup on faster than I sweat it off.

Really?! Find that brand new micro fishnet nude hose have a giant hole in crotch. It’s my only pair and no time to get replacement, so I go with the extra venting and hope for the best. [Photo taken today. They didn't get any worse at least.]

Sweat.

I am certain that this skirt was not this tight last summer when I wore it. Curse. A few times. Damn that chocolate peanut butter zig zag (vegan) ice cream and her late night siren call to me.

Look in the mirror and realize this is one of those rare times (two or three per year, maybe) that my hair turns out just the way I wanted it to. It looks pretty good for a change! Maybe this day is starting to turn around a bit for me?

Drive to meeting location.

Arrive at the building; look in car mirror to fix melted makeup; dab sweat; realize that the sweat has moistened my hair enough that it has it curling in every direction. The style is completely obliterated. Pull it back into ponytail for control. Grrrrrr.

Realize while walking in to the building that the wind, my skirt, and my stockings are having a very unpleasant interaction, causing the damn skirt to ride up. Hold skirt to keep it in place while I walk the rest of the trek to the building.

The day has most definitely not turned around for me.

Sweat.

Go into the building. Finally. Continue to sweat.
Dread the thought that I will have to sweat through the next three hours of the meeting.

Move to meeting room. Frigid, cold meeting room. Oh sweet relief! Though I feel bad for my shivering colleagues, I am so happy for myself! There is only one moment, and it is this moment, and I AM NOT SWEATING!

Homeschool - Finishing 5th grade

Before we jump into the school stuff, here's the adorable little old man, Jolsie, enjoying his penis-cleaning soak. Though he's been neutered, it kind of falls out sometimes (it's hard to hold things in when you're old) and gets stuff stuck to it, so the easiest way to clean it is a five minute soak in warm water--it wipes right off. He is pretty content in the water, though we provide a carrot for distraction. He nibbles and sits and thinks, then nibbles some more, then thinks some more. He doesn't seem to mind the soaking at all (seems to even like it), though he does HATE the wiping it clean part.

We are finishing up our fifth grade year of homeschooling. She has a couple of weeks left of history and language and will continue her maths throughout the summer, so we don’t lose ground on that. Here’s a synopsis of what we used/tried this year.

MATHS – Singapore Math
This has served us well, and we will continue using it. Some topics seem to have few samples which sometimes causes her difficulty in getting started. I would like to see one or more example for each type of problem that they complete in the Textbook, Workbook, Intensive Practice, and Word Problems books.

SCIENCE – Eclectic Mix
We used several different textbooks and workbooks for science. Of those we used, I liked the Spectrum books but they didn’t go as deeply as I would have liked and contained no hands-on work. I supplemented with experiments from several science textbooks I have accumulated. We spent about half the year on evolution, and the books we had (DK Eyewitness – Evolution and DK Evolution Revolution) were fantastic! She really enjoyed that unit and is very interested in it, mainly because of the focus on animals.

We also continued our study of the periodic table, using How Not To Teach Science materials, along with the book, The Elements: A Visual Exploration of Every Element in the Universe.

We continued to work with the scientific method. Science is SO important to me, that we have used a huge array of resources along with a great deal of informal lessons (very easy with our nature girl who loves to be outside in any weather and lives in a veritable lab with all of the animals and plants in our world). She also completed some studies on the human body/anatomy. I am in the process of researching a few very promising middle school science curriculums, as I would like a more coherent flow with strong hands-on exploration for the next couple of years.

HISTORY – Story of the World Book Three: Early Modern Times
Though I like this series and will continue next year with the fourth and final book, she has not enjoyed this period of history and will definitely not enjoy next year’s. She prefers natural history to ‘human’ history, and is pretty routinely bored and irritated with one story after another of males trying to acquire power at all costs (war). I share her sentiments, but this is nonetheless important information that she needs to master and understand. I disliked history in school and college, until I went about it from a literary approach rather than going from one war/pissing contest to another. Once she completes the final book of this series, we will revisit history in chronological order from a literary and philosophical perspective. We will both find that more interesting and enjoyable, I’m sure.

ECONOMICS – Uncle Eric books
We finished the third book of four at the first semester end. Initially my plan was to continue on with the last book in semester two. I held off on it, though. I found as we went through these books that despite liking the IDEA of the books, the implementation left much to be desired. I liked the straight forward, easy-to-understand explanations of fairly complex, difficult topics. I did not like that the author inserted his sometimes wrong, sometimes antiquated, often conservative Christian, and always unnecessary OPINIONS throughout the book without clearly distinguishing fact from opinion. It is very easy for me to see the difference, but was forced to read through each book, underlining and notating what was strictly the author’s opinion. Frankly, I couldn’t give a shit less what a random author’s opinion is on political and economic topics, and find that it really degraded an otherwise good resource. I am working on trying to find something better, still at a level she can understand. If I am unable to find something over the summer, I will be reduced to reading and notating the final book for next year.

LATIN – Lively Latin
We finished the Lively Latin course. It’s not bad, though there are some gaps between the information presented to the student and the questions asked of the student. She found this somewhat frustrating at times. She really disliked Latin and didn’t want to continue. I would like her to continue and am hoping to convince her at a later date to try it again.

SPANISH – Rosetta Stone
Instead of continuing with Latin, I gave her a choice of Spanish or French. She chose to start with Spanish (and after I spent lots of $$ on it, decided she wants to learn Hindi, too—maybe next year) and that seems to be going well.

LANGUAGE ARTS
Spelling & Vocabulary – She finished the Wise Guide for Spelling, which goes through high school level, this year. This book wasn’t bad as far as the word lists, which I used and appreciated. The majority of the rest of the book was unusable due to ridiculous, unnecessary religious content. My research did not indicate any of this in this program, so I was taken by surprise. Since I had already purchased it, I went ahead and used the word lists and made my own supplementary work to go along with it. Spelling is quite easy for her, and she does very well with it. I am actually trying to decide if I want to continue with a formal spelling unit or just let her to continue to pick it up as she goes. She reads so very much and is exposed to such rich language, that I don’t think she will ever have a problem with spelling or vocabulary.

Grammar – First Language Lessons: We are just wrapping up the last in the series of four. This series has done a fantastic job at presenting the parts of speech, diagramming sentences, and the rest of the grammar world. It is not her favorite, but she doesn’t hate it. I’ve been very happy with the series and wish they had a middle school level, but there isn’t one (at least at this point). That leaves me searching for a new curriculum for next year.

Writing – Writing is another skill that comes very easy to her. Both of my girls were natural and prolific writers (as I tend to be). We’ve been using her own stories and proofing and editing them, working on grammar, coherence, etc. We will continue to dig deeper in perfecting her own writing. Additionally, she has started working on a research paper. At this point, she is just researching and compiling information, based on her outline. Because this is a very easy topic for both of us, I have not sought out or needed a curriculum. I think I would like one for next year, though, because I want to get into the various types and styles of writing and would like an organized approach rather than our informal one.

Literature & Poetry – We’ve been using my own eclectic curriculum so far, which is easy for me. I had a Lit minor (undergrad) and am an avid reader and lover of books and poetry of all genres. L is also a bibliophile and reads a vast array of books both on her own and with me. We have so many interesting discussions on our reading! She has memorized several large pieces of classic poetry and will continue to do so. I also have a girlfriend who has just retired from teaching lit at UWW. She has volunteered to cover Shakespeare and poetry with L, so that will be fun for her to work with someone else. I was a student of Julie’s, way back in my undergrad, and she is quite brilliant! I’m sure L will enjoy working with her.

GEOGRAPHY – Spectrum
This wasn’t bad at all, but it wasn’t fantastic. I wish it had gone more in depth. I am shopping around for a new middle school geography curriculum.

PHYSICAL EDUCATION
Her Bharatanatyam classes and practice has covered an element of PE as well as served as a great cultural study. I also have her doing fairly intensive yoga workouts now. She’s a bit on the lazy side with this, and it takes constant motivation to keep her moving. She does dog walks as the weather permits and has access to the treadmill, which she seems to go through streaks with. Because she still spends so much active time playing outside, I think she gets enough activity. She has experimented with many sports through the years, but hasn’t really liked any enough to stick with. She did gymnastics for the longest but chose not to take those classes this year. Maybe she will go back next year?? She keeps saying she wants to do track, but there aren’t any age appropriate venues for that here.

MUSIC
This has been a big disappointment for me. I have been teaching her piano, which became like pulling teeth every single day to get her to practice or make any effort at all. She made a good case for taking violin lessons instead of piano, so I acquiesced. I have been searching for months for a recommendation for a good violin teacher but have not yet been able to find one. She needs to get back into some kind of music lessons by fall at the latest, so I’m afraid if I can’t track down a good violin teacher, it will be back to the piano wars.

ART HISTORY – The Usborne Book of Art
My focus is teaching her art history, rather than the mechanics of art. This book is a pretty good overview of the various periods of art. It is chronological, so it’s easy to tie into the time period we are studying in history and look at the various historical and political environment in which the art occurred.

Since both of the girls are amazing artists and I’m not, I really have nothing to offer here. She is very self-motivated, so as long as we provide the resources (unlimited art supplies, books she selects, classes, tolerating the endless messes, and hanging space) she is running with this on her own. I can help her with some things, but not many. Fortunately, she has her sister and my artist friend that she can use for resources and any help/advice she needs.

PHILOSOPHY – on hold
An author friend of ours wrote L a nice little philosophy guide. I also have several very good books on the topic. We scratched the surface of it the last couple of years, but I left off there. I just didn’t feel that her brain had developed to the point of really getting into the interesting, in-depth philosophical studies that I am looking forward to. Despite being very smart and quite mature, the areas of the brain that allow her to fully explore this topic just haven’t fully developed yet. I am seeing signs that she is ready, and will try to delve into this subject in the fall and see how it goes.

I have a fairly long list of various curriculums that I am currently evaluating. I have about a month to make a decision and acquire the materials. It will take me the rest of the summer to prepare everything and plan out the year. I will post back when I make some choices or at least get it narrowed down to two or three.

Fun Foliage

We finally made it back to the roller rink Thurs. night. My girlfriend wasn’t able to join us, as her younger son broke his little arm (poor guy fell off the monkey bars at school!) the day before, and he needed his mommy home with him. This time, H joined us.

I set off with L and the two boys in the backseat, while I played chauffeur. It was a very interesting drive! The kids get along well together, and they were all silly and giggly. They were very entertaining. I was incredibly tired and going on around 2 hours of sleep, so I was a bit concerned about staying alert for the drive—especially the drive home. The kids were so loud and so entertaining, that I remained very alert (and laughing) for both trips. We saw a deer in the road on the way there and a raccoon in the road on the way back. Fortunately I am always obsessively scanning for creatures in or approaching the road, so we had plenty of time to slow way down and watch them safely cross.

Logan skated like a hockey player again, and he did very well, even participating in the limbo and the race. Hunter learned how to skate in school, so he was fairly proficient on his skates. He had a couple of minor falls but wasn’t slowed down at all. The boys seem to prefer solitary skating for the most part. They would ‘pop by’ and join us for a round or so and then go back to skating around on their own. Skating is a much more solitary sport for boys than girls. I observed the other kids there and noticed that the girls typically skated in pairs or groups—often holding hands. The boys typically skated on their own or chased one another.

L was much better on her wheels this time around. She had a couple of minor falls throughout the night, but was more confident and stable by far. She insisted on holding my hand most of the night but did end up taking 3 or 4 rounds by herself. I loved holding her hand and spending the time with her, but I have to admit that when the few good songs they played came on (Lady Gaga, Black Eyed Peas—since they don’t play Prince or Death Metal, that’s the best I could hope for) I really wanted to ditch her and go fast and have fun. I felt guilty for fantasizing about that though. ;) I know the days of her holding my hand for hours while we skate and talk will be gone very soon, and I will have plenty of time then to skate as fast as I would like and dance around however I would like. I am still trying to erase the pain of having to skate to anything by Justin Beiber. His music is just god awful and inexcusable! I stayed upright the whole night (thank goodness, as my knee is still a bit touchy from the previous trip’s fall), so I returned home feeling much better this time.

The kids informed me when we left (at closing time) that they were DYING of thirst, so we stopped at a drive through to get everyone a caffeine-free soda or juice. We dropped Logan off at home and then headed back to our house. I think we were all pretty tired out by then!

L & H played outside much of the weekend. I love that they can still happily pass an entire day outside in the yard

Date Night Saturday: Chautura (YUMMMY!!!) and to the Overture to see Bach, Dynamite and Dancing performance (music was great, except for the first piece which was meh; vocalists were great; plot/lyrics were not the greatest). I dressed up (white skinnies and this butterfly blouse, which I love), and my lovely daughter looked at me and proclaimed that I looked like I was pooping butterflies. (disclaimer: This is the same blouse on a model, definitely not me!) She's great at making me feel pretty like that.

roses

The roses are blooming--at least the few that I have left. My once spectacular collection of roses has shrunk through the years. I'm going to either lose those that I have left or have to start spraying. I've tried companion planting (with garlic), but they still end up with horrible powdery mildew and being eaten by seemingly every little bug that exists. The Japanese beatles have been brutal, getting worse every year. If I start spraying, I can go back to having lovely, pristine roses, but I really, really hate using chemicals.

I have finally been able to find some weeding help, so there is hope that I may catch up with the weeding this year. It couldn't have worked out more perfectly (unless of course, my child really stuck with the weeding as she had planned), as he's from our animal lib group. He's a wonderful, bright veg college student who loves gardening and working outside. He's done a good job at clearing the front garden this weekend. He's almost halfway through!

I even managed to steal a little time this afternoon to do some weeding, though I probably should have been working on one of my many undone house chores or doing some programming for my contract job.

I had planned a much different blog post for tonight, but once I got started, I found I was too mentally lazy to write that post. I've been pretty busy all day, and it seems that sitting down with my computer has put a sleeping spell on me. I feel like I've been drugged and just need to sleep. No time for that now, but my more interesting post will have to wait for a day that I'm more ambitious.

OC time

If you look between the weeds, our peonies are beautiful, and the roses are starting to bloom. I took a few shots quickly today--not the best due to the bright, full sun, but at least I got them. I totally missed the lilacs and the alliums, which were stunning. The whole front yard was full of giant purple balls, and everyday that I drove up to the house, I would be struck with how beautiful it was and think that I needed to get a picture. I never got the picture, and now they're gone until next year

The cat room and the hall are all put back together. It went so much more smoothly (thanks in large part to all the help from my dad) than I had imagined. L is still working on reassembling her room. She still has overflow in the living room and the upstairs bathroom. I'm kind of tired of looking at the big storage containers, so I am hoping she moves through the rest of her cleanup quickly.

I am SO happy with how the floors turned out. I absolutely LOVE them. Sometimes I just sit and look at the floors. It make my still-carpeted bedroom look so much more repulsive than before.

Carrie yakked up a big pile of liquid and catnip in the middle of the catroom floor this morning. It was so easy to cleanup, and so quick that I didn't even have time to mutter obscenities about it.

I go back to work tomorrow :( and I'm not at all happy about having to get up early again. I will also miss the live coverage of the Casey Anthony trial, which I was able to watch last week while doing the house projects. I'll be starting on a project that I'm really looking forward to (data warehouse stuff--YES!!), so hopefully that will keep me from missing the live trial coverage too badly.

As I walked through the dining room with my camera, I noticed all four shelves on the cat climber in use. (from top: Mimosa, Basil, Charlie, and Jasper)

I also noticed that M had the recycling staged and ready to take outside. It can only be taken outside early Monday morning (recycle day), because he doesn't like it to get too wet or nasty. He takes pride--a great deal of pride--in how nice he makes the recycling look when he packs it up for pickup. He's pretty certain that our recycling pickup crew talks about and looks forward to his tidy work. They must just weep on the weeks that he travels and I put it out on a Sunday night, all haphazardly stuffed into the bin. It's a good thing he isn't around to feel the shame of my very untidy recycle bin preparations!

True love

The floor project is basically done, but we are still working on getting the contents of the two bedrooms and the hall put back where they go. The house is still a huge mess! My hands are pretty hosed from all the painting and sanding, so I'm keeping the typing to a minimum tonight.


Here's a shot of the two best friends, Jezebel and Petey. Petey loves her so much! He just lights up, starts purring, gets as close as possible and cuddles up to her whenever he sees her.

I just sent this quote to a friend, and because I love it so much, I'm going to hit CTRL-V and paste it here too:

The total amount of suffering per year in the natural world is beyond all decent contemplation. During the minute that it takes me to compose this sentence, thousands of animals are being eaten alive, many others are running for their lives, whimpering with fear, others are slowly being devoured from within by rasping parasites, thousands of all kinds are dying of starvation, thirst, and disease. It must be so. If there ever is a time of plenty, this very fact will automatically lead to an increase in the population until the natural state of starvation and misery is restored. In a universe of electrons and selfish genes, blind physical forces and genetic replication, some people are going to get hurt, other people are going to get lucky, and you won't find any rhyme or reason in it, nor any justice. The universe that we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but pitiless indifference. -- Richard Dawkins, "God's Utility Function," published in Scientific American (November, 1995), p. 85