In need of smoothies

Fifteen days since my last entry indicates that I'm blog failing again.  The Java programming assignments (along with all the other classes' homework) are rolling in again, and I'm struggling to keep up with the grading.  Again.  I still haven't found a way to minimize my grading time without negatively impacting the student learning experience.  The only way to learn Java well is to write a lot of code, get a lot of feedback, and then improve/re-write the code.  Not only have I not found a solution to the massive time required for this, but I rolled out more extra-credit programming options and quizzes, all of which require grading.  This has not helped my time problem, but it has helped the students.

This week I burned out another blender, and I'm anxiously waiting for my new one to arrive.  I am trying the Kitchen Aid blender this time around, in hopes that I can get more than a year out of it.  In the meantime, my post-workout protein "green" smoothies have come to a temporary end, which is sad.  I really look forward to my post-workout smoothie!  I just got a notice that it shipped today, so I'll be back to smoothies by the end of the week (I hope).

Worse than that, my cutting 'board' broke, and I'm really bummed about it.  I've had the nice, heavy, glass cutting board my entire adult life.  It was beautiful and functional, and I had apparently grown attached to it.  I have dropped so many things on that board with no problems, so I was shocked when the almond butter jar fell out of the cupboard, landed on the cutting board on the counter below, and shattered it into hundreds of tiny pieces.  It's such a ridiculous thing to be sad about, but I am mourning it.  Good cutting boards are also not cheap, and I intend for my next one to last for the remainder of my adult life.  I'm not thrilled with the glass options I've found so far (and I like glass, because I feel like it's cleaner), so I may try a bamboo one.  While I can get the functionality with no problem, none of them have beautiful wildflowers on them which make me happy to look at.

I have been unable to find a source for buying large quantities of vinegar in glass jars, but my mom came up with a solution that will work perfectly and assuage my guilt.  I purchase 1 gallon plastic jugs of vinegar.  We can re-purpose those empty 1 gallon jugs for our water refills.  Because our city water causes a couple of our animals to have vomiting issues, we have to buy them water.  We re-use those 1-gallon water jugs as many times as possible, but they are not very sturdy and have a fairly short lifespan.  The vinegar jugs are much heavier-weight, more robust plastic, and they should last much longer than the milk-jug type containers.  It's not a plastic-free solution, but it's an improvement, and that's my goal.

I'm still 100% caffeine free!  Last week for some inexplicable reason, my sleep took a downturn.  The time I spent sleeping was much less and the architecture of that sleep wasn't good.  I am not sure why, as there was nothing unusual going on.  It wasn't easy, but I slogged through with no caffeine.

I just finished reading, You're Not So Smart: Why You Have Too Many Friends on Facebook, Why Your Memory Is Mostly Fiction, and 46 Other Ways You're Deluding Yourself.  It was a very interesting book--much of it from studies I had seen before and was aware of, but there was also some new-to-me content.  It was a good reminder of how amazing, yet faulty our brains are.  I work very hard to always be aware of my  brain's weaknesses, and it frustrates me than I can't just completely override these foibles.  Being aware of them, though, is the first step to making us all better people with better brains.  I have the Kindle edition of the book, and would be happy to loan it out.  It was such a good, interesting read, though, that I spent some of my grading time reading, which put me even further behind and ultimately ended up with me borrowing from my sleep time.

 I'm including some random cute critter photos tonight. Jasper LOVES bags, suitcases, drawers--anything he can climb into.  When Mark packs and unpacks for trips, Jasper is always there trying to lie on or in the bag.  When Mark returned from his last trip a couple of weeks ago, he left the suitcase out on the bed for the afternoon so Jasper could enjoy a little extra time with it. 

Luna (the guinea pig) is looking extra fluffy and clean after her bath in these photos.  The piggies get fresh fruits and veggies but no junk food.  I was finishing my lunch (a tostada), when we discovered that she really likes the tostada shells.  She was begging, trying to steal, and being altogether shameless about trying to get more.

Am I blue?

L has really wanted to paint her room for nearly a year.  The color has been a bright pink since it was Dej’s room and she painted it.  Dej and I still love that color (Dej painted her bedroom at her house the exact same color) and really didn’t want her to paint over it, but since it’s her room now, the beautiful color is gone.  It is now almost completely this light blue color.  It’s a beautiful color, and she’s very happy with it, but we still miss the pink.  Dej’s birthday present to L was that she would help prime and paint it.  My dad came and helped for a bit, too.  It will require one more coat, which they will finish soon, I hope.  When they paint, the rats get moved into my workout room, and it’s incredibly difficult and inconvenient to haul everything I need downstairs and set up.  L is very much enjoying having her sister to herself for the painting, and it’s been fun to hear them giggle and chatter through the closed door.

Sophie entered the room with me, just long enough for me to take a couple of pictures.  In that brief time period, she managed to get blue paint on her little face.

Second week of classes has finished, and that usually means I’ve reached the end of the add/drop chaos of the first two weeks.  I was not able to accommodate everyone on the waitlist this time, but I did get a few in.  I over-enrolled my classes again, being ever the optimist (realist?), that there is almost always some attrition throughout the semester—especially in these classes, which are required gen-eds for business majors.  Even without attrition, the odds are that there is at least one student absent per class.  Perfect attendance is rare (in non-major specific classes).

While I enjoy teaching all of my classes, I admit preference for my programming classes.  I love programming and talking about programming, and the students are much more invested and passionate about the material, too.  One of my Java class mornings, the roads were an absolute nightmare.  It took me 35 minutes to make my usual 10-12 minute trip to campus, so instead of arriving early as I usually do.  I walked in one minute after class was supposed to start.  As I was making the long, harrowing drive, I kept thinking I was going through all of this and would probably arrive to see a handful of students, if that many.  If it had been a different class, it would have gone that way, but not with Java.  All but one student was there, and when I walked in, they cheered.  They were so worried I wasn’t going to make it in and they wouldn’t have class.  How could I not love teaching such enthusiastic learners?!

I’m already behind on grading, due to an unexpected animal rescue situation that took up most of the day yesterday.  I’m hoping to get caught up tonight, but tonight is family night, so that doesn’t leave me too much time to grade.  This rescue situation didn’t go well and left me more depressed than usual (and I tend to be pretty bad after the rescues—seems counter intuitive, but regardless of how they turn out, it’s always emotionally traumatic to see the things that one has to see).  Even a ferocious workout didn’t burn off the emotional mess I hoped it would.  It’s hard to head into a Monday, knowing I have to be “up” and performing well for my Java class in the morning, when I’m so horribly despondent about being stuck living in this mess of a world.  Though I’ve maintained my caffeine-free status religiously for over ten days now, I’m reserving the right to have some before class if I can’t get in the right frame of mind by class time.  I cannot shortchange the students.

I finished reading Plastic Free and would be happy to loan out my Kindle version to anyone who is interested.  I don’t have a Kindle but can buy/borrow and read Kindle books on my laptop or phone.  I read a portion of it and got so bummed out about the gravity of the situation that I had to take a few weeks off.  The remainder of the book, however, was quite empowering with so many good resources and ideas for making changes in my own life, that I felt much more encouraged when I finished the book.  I wish I had just read straight through—I would have gotten to the “happier” parts quicker.  I appreciated the author’s reminder to make incremental changes as well as her honest depiction of her depression and struggles with despondency when learning the full scope of the problem.  I will be talking more about some of the specific changes we are working on in severely reducing our plastic consumption. 

One of the first things I did was track down a new source for coconut oil, which I use tons of  (cooking, body lotion, lip balm, hair smoother, eye makeup remover).  I love the Nutiva brand and have always used this, but I found that they only sell their coconut oil in plastic jars.  I ordered from a new company (fingers crossed that I like the product as well) that sells it in glass jars.  We go through a lot of it, so I can get one nice, large, bulk-sized glass jar of it and then distribute it to the various locations of usage in smaller jars.

The other item I rely on that I’m trying to track down in glass (or at least a refill-your-own-container system) is white vinegar.  We go through gallons of this, as I use it for cleaning almost everything (vinegar, baking soda, and tea tree oil or lavender take care of 95% of our cleaning needs, which are immense), and we have to do a lot of cleaning in this household.  There are smaller-sized glass bottles available, but it would take a LOT of those to match the quantities we use, and that isn’t a convenient or practical solution.  I’m working on tracking down a good solution to this.

ZZZZeo

I survived another "first week" and am getting into the groove of the semester this week.  The beginning of semester adjustment is easier for me in the spring semester than the fall.

I haven't made any more progress on the dining room wallpaper stripping, so we're still living with the chaotic mess.  I'm hoping to get taxes done next weekend, so that won't leave much time for stripping.  Now I'm starting to second guess the paint choice we made, so I really need to get this done before too much time passes and it turns into a completely different project.

I've spent a ridiculous amount of time lately researching sleep in my effort to improve my poor sleep and insomniac issues.  I'm collecting and analyzing data from my Zeo sleep manager every night, so I have a clear picture of which things need to improve.

I got the Zeo last year and used it for a bit, but I got so depressed seeing repeatedly that I was utterly failing at sleep, that I gave up.  I was hoping initially to see that my sleep was better than I thought, and I was actually getting more rest than I thought.  It turned out to be just as bad, if not worse, than I thought.  So I felt hopeless and quit.

Having the nutritional and fitness changes completely integrated, I don't have to put much thought or energy into that aspect of my health right now, I felt that I could use those resources to get  my sleeping problems resolved now.  I've spent countless hours reading everything I could find on sleep architecture and cycles, so that I could learn how to identify and improve those of my sleep issues that could be improved.  I've learned a lot and have seen some small improvements.

My largest improvements have been a result of eliminating all of my sleep drugs (I have an arsenal--some prescription, some OTC).  Those that are prescriptions (pharmaceuticals, UGH!), I was eager to eliminate, because I don't want any dirty products from one of the filthiest industries.  I wasn't too concerned about my low-level OTC aids (Excedrin/Tylenol PM, NyQuil, etc.), but have since learned that those are almost as bad for my sleep as the pharms. are.  I am currently getting better quality sleep than I have in years, which is ironic that the sleeping drugs were ultimately causing more problems than they solved.

The Zeo tracks my brain waves while I sleep, and every morning I get a detailed graph and data showing exactly when and how much time was spent awake, in light sleep, in REM sleep, and in deep sleep.

<< An average night with sleep drugs (and my last night with them)

I don't sleep for very long at a time--maybe two hours max.  I suspect that will never change, because I'm "on the clock" all night long.  There is never a time in our house where everyone is asleep and quiet.  The cats, especially, wreak havoc on my sleep, as I get up several times a night to investigate strange/suspicious sounds, break up fights, and other excitement that always occurs between midnight-7am.  Also, it takes me a very long time to slow my brain down enough to sleep, so this is a major problem if I'm awakened 6 times a night (my current average--but it's not all due to the cats), it can take an hour or more to get back to sleep and sometimes I just can't get back to sleep at all.  This is a limitation I am going to have to live with, but if the rest of my sleep were high quality, that would be fine.

I decided to focus on the issues I felt I would better be able to change and those were sleep architecture issues.  The sleep cycles I was getting was quite off for what a woman in my age group should experience.  My REM was ridiculously low (averaging at about 5%) as was my deep sleep.  The minimal sleep I was getting was all light sleep, which easily explained why I never felt rested.

<< An average night without sleep drugs (awesome, record-breaking sleep for me)

My research indicated that the variety of sleep aids I was using were all detrimental to good sleep architecture, and it was easy to validate this myself by eliminating all of them and then comparing my sleep data before and after.  Without these drugs, my REM jumped back into normal range--even on the high side (currently averaging about 30%), which I'm okay with for now.  After having so little of it, I'm enjoying the glut of it.  My deep sleep improved a bit, but I am still hoping to see that improve a bit more.

The other result of my sleep study and improvement efforts is that I've recently gotten off caffeine.  I've done this before (many times), but I've always gone back on it as I miss the energy and good mood it brings me.  Also, when I'm teaching, I need to be "on".  It's a bit of a performance art, and I need to be engaging, entertaining, and be able to quickly deal with the unexpected.  Caffeine helps with that a lot--especially when I'm running on 2-4 hours of sleep.  I couldn't ignore the data, though, that I kept running across while researching sleep and the various sleep aid drugs.  I just decided to eliminate it in hopes that as my sleep cycle improves, I won't have the need for it (most of the time anyway).  I fantasize that some day I will be able to bounce right out of bed in the morning and not feel even a little tired, and I will have the energy I need to maintain a high level of productivity the entire day without needing any caffeine boosts.  I do miss the caffeine--especially in my 10am Java class.

I'm so happy with the progress that I've been making in getting healthy.  I am trying to keep the focus on how happy I am and how well I feel, because I keep slipping into this horrible embarrassment and self-flagellation for losing control of my own health and body for so many years.  It's amazing how much better life is when one's health is what it should be.  I also find myself increasingly angry and resentful of the health issues I know I cannot improve (arthritis, aging eyes) and will be stuck with.  I am most definitely an all or nothing person, so knowing I can never enjoy absolutely perfect health and a perfectly functioning body really annoys me.  I will not, as I have in the past, simply give up because I know I can't attain perfection.  I will continue to strive to improve every facet that I can, because if I have to be stuck in this shit-hole existence, I am determined to be healthy and strong!