ZZZZeo

I survived another "first week" and am getting into the groove of the semester this week.  The beginning of semester adjustment is easier for me in the spring semester than the fall.

I haven't made any more progress on the dining room wallpaper stripping, so we're still living with the chaotic mess.  I'm hoping to get taxes done next weekend, so that won't leave much time for stripping.  Now I'm starting to second guess the paint choice we made, so I really need to get this done before too much time passes and it turns into a completely different project.

I've spent a ridiculous amount of time lately researching sleep in my effort to improve my poor sleep and insomniac issues.  I'm collecting and analyzing data from my Zeo sleep manager every night, so I have a clear picture of which things need to improve.

I got the Zeo last year and used it for a bit, but I got so depressed seeing repeatedly that I was utterly failing at sleep, that I gave up.  I was hoping initially to see that my sleep was better than I thought, and I was actually getting more rest than I thought.  It turned out to be just as bad, if not worse, than I thought.  So I felt hopeless and quit.

Having the nutritional and fitness changes completely integrated, I don't have to put much thought or energy into that aspect of my health right now, I felt that I could use those resources to get  my sleeping problems resolved now.  I've spent countless hours reading everything I could find on sleep architecture and cycles, so that I could learn how to identify and improve those of my sleep issues that could be improved.  I've learned a lot and have seen some small improvements.

My largest improvements have been a result of eliminating all of my sleep drugs (I have an arsenal--some prescription, some OTC).  Those that are prescriptions (pharmaceuticals, UGH!), I was eager to eliminate, because I don't want any dirty products from one of the filthiest industries.  I wasn't too concerned about my low-level OTC aids (Excedrin/Tylenol PM, NyQuil, etc.), but have since learned that those are almost as bad for my sleep as the pharms. are.  I am currently getting better quality sleep than I have in years, which is ironic that the sleeping drugs were ultimately causing more problems than they solved.

The Zeo tracks my brain waves while I sleep, and every morning I get a detailed graph and data showing exactly when and how much time was spent awake, in light sleep, in REM sleep, and in deep sleep.

<< An average night with sleep drugs (and my last night with them)

I don't sleep for very long at a time--maybe two hours max.  I suspect that will never change, because I'm "on the clock" all night long.  There is never a time in our house where everyone is asleep and quiet.  The cats, especially, wreak havoc on my sleep, as I get up several times a night to investigate strange/suspicious sounds, break up fights, and other excitement that always occurs between midnight-7am.  Also, it takes me a very long time to slow my brain down enough to sleep, so this is a major problem if I'm awakened 6 times a night (my current average--but it's not all due to the cats), it can take an hour or more to get back to sleep and sometimes I just can't get back to sleep at all.  This is a limitation I am going to have to live with, but if the rest of my sleep were high quality, that would be fine.

I decided to focus on the issues I felt I would better be able to change and those were sleep architecture issues.  The sleep cycles I was getting was quite off for what a woman in my age group should experience.  My REM was ridiculously low (averaging at about 5%) as was my deep sleep.  The minimal sleep I was getting was all light sleep, which easily explained why I never felt rested.

<< An average night without sleep drugs (awesome, record-breaking sleep for me)

My research indicated that the variety of sleep aids I was using were all detrimental to good sleep architecture, and it was easy to validate this myself by eliminating all of them and then comparing my sleep data before and after.  Without these drugs, my REM jumped back into normal range--even on the high side (currently averaging about 30%), which I'm okay with for now.  After having so little of it, I'm enjoying the glut of it.  My deep sleep improved a bit, but I am still hoping to see that improve a bit more.

The other result of my sleep study and improvement efforts is that I've recently gotten off caffeine.  I've done this before (many times), but I've always gone back on it as I miss the energy and good mood it brings me.  Also, when I'm teaching, I need to be "on".  It's a bit of a performance art, and I need to be engaging, entertaining, and be able to quickly deal with the unexpected.  Caffeine helps with that a lot--especially when I'm running on 2-4 hours of sleep.  I couldn't ignore the data, though, that I kept running across while researching sleep and the various sleep aid drugs.  I just decided to eliminate it in hopes that as my sleep cycle improves, I won't have the need for it (most of the time anyway).  I fantasize that some day I will be able to bounce right out of bed in the morning and not feel even a little tired, and I will have the energy I need to maintain a high level of productivity the entire day without needing any caffeine boosts.  I do miss the caffeine--especially in my 10am Java class.

I'm so happy with the progress that I've been making in getting healthy.  I am trying to keep the focus on how happy I am and how well I feel, because I keep slipping into this horrible embarrassment and self-flagellation for losing control of my own health and body for so many years.  It's amazing how much better life is when one's health is what it should be.  I also find myself increasingly angry and resentful of the health issues I know I cannot improve (arthritis, aging eyes) and will be stuck with.  I am most definitely an all or nothing person, so knowing I can never enjoy absolutely perfect health and a perfectly functioning body really annoys me.  I will not, as I have in the past, simply give up because I know I can't attain perfection.  I will continue to strive to improve every facet that I can, because if I have to be stuck in this shit-hole existence, I am determined to be healthy and strong!