Expires on 11/3/20??

Jasper - It's exhausting to be so cute!

I know the day on which my life will end, barring unexpected circumstances (of course I could die in a car accident tomorrow or be struck by lightning today). I know this is very non-traditional, but I think it's a very logical approach to life/death and allows me to live a better, more focused life.

We've had several friends die or lose family members lately, and all of them were very unexpected. Those who died left so many things unfinished, unsaid, undone. I want to avoid that if possible. I don't want my husband to be left grieving, with all of the financial affairs to deal with, the animals and finding care arrangements for them, etc. This got me thinking about a planned exit date. That allows me time to get everything wrapped up into a neat little package, leaving my loved ones with only grief to deal with.
I've put a lot of thought into this and examined it from every angle, and the only "flaw" I can find is of course that there are no guarantees in life, and even the best laid plans can be disrupted by fate.  I prefer to control the means by which I die (quick and relatively painless) and the time, so I am doing my best to bypass fate on this one.
I have a definite end point, which allows me to plan my life efficiently. I've defined my important goals and things that need to be accomplished, and as I know how much time I have left, I can schedule things appropriately. I will be able to ensure my animals' care plans and have the financial affairs wrapped up in a neat, easy package for my family to take over with no stress.  I will also be able to appreciate and enjoy the life I have left more fully.  Knowing, for example, that you have five "July 4th" celebrations left, makes them more special, and also clarifies priorities (e.g.  "Since I only have five left, I want to spend them in this particular way.")

This has been one of the best decisions I have made. It has brought me a sense of control and clarity about life that I haven't had, and I feel incredibly free to live life on my own terms.  I want to clarify that I am not depressed. This decision has nothing to do with being sad or desperate. It's simply the most logical way to deal with the inevitable.

I have selected my birthday (not this year) as the exit day, because that allows my survivors to have one sad day to think about me instead of two. I've noticed when mourning lost loved ones, people struggle with the person's birthday, death day, and holidays. I can't really help with the holidays, but if the birth and death day are the same, that removes at least one ugly day.  I will let my close friends and family know the year but not until there is one year left. That allows everyone enough time to say what they need to say, so they don't have to suffer "If I only I had told her..."

On a funny side note, when I discussed this with L, she was very calm and matter of fact about it (as I knew she would be--she's a very logical girl) and just reminded me that I needed to finish her homeschooling first, because she didn't want to have to go to high school.  LOL--that's my girl!

I offer this as an alternate way of looking at and dealing with the end that we all face, in hopes that others may find it as comforting and freeing as I have. If I have missed something or there is a logical flaw in my reasoning, I would like to hear that. I have no interest in hearing or participating in any emotion-based discourse, so feel free to keep that to yourself.