Feeling chatty

We took the kids through the Olbrich conservatory yesterday after L's dance. They were little turds and wouldn't cooperate with my picture taking efforts. I got a few pretty flower photos, though.

It’s been tough getting up early and going to work this week! My body is not happy about the early waking or about the ridiculous cold weather. So far, I have stuck to my only New Year’s resolution of working out every day. It hasn’t been long, but it’s so hard for me to get up early, let alone get up earlier to work out, that I’m pretty happy with myself for every day that I stick with it.

Now that L has moved into her sister’s old (and much bigger) bedroom, I have an exercise room. Well, it’s actually the cats’ room, but they have agreed to share it with me if I keep my stuff out of their way. J I have all of my equipment neatly organized in one spot and have enough room to comfortably work out. That removes one more barrier for me, and it all helps. Previously, we had the weights in one room, the exercise balls in another, my yoga stuff elsewhere, and the treadmill on a completely different floor.

I’m sore today, but in a good way. I love the feel of a good burn after a workout! Despite sleeping poorly the last two nights and returning to work after a long vacation, I am still feeling in a better, more energetic mood as a result of exercising. So why the hell am I unable to stick with it on a long-term basis?!! I’m feeling positive right now, and this is the year I will finally get my healthy body back! I’m so sick of being a big slug!

Yesterday I got a little Monday bonus when I left work. Sometimes when the weather is super cold, the payment machines in the lot in which I park do not work well. The machine couldn’t read my ticket yesterday, and the dispatcher couldn’t find anyone in the vicinity, so she just let me out with no charge. And of all days, on my long day (which is the most costly). It was an unexpected little gift of $11.50 that I didn’t have to spend to park my car! It’s a little strange that things like that make me so happy!

Over the holiday break, I started re-reading one of the best fiction books ever written—I’d put it in my top five for sure: House of Leaves by Mark Danielewski. It’s extremely original, multi-layered, and the way he uses language is powerful, artistic, and shows that he loves each individual word and all the nuances that accompany it. I can’t recommend this book highly enough! I will be finished in a few days and will be happy to loan it out. I’ve loaned it to many, many people through the years, and all have loved it! One even loved it so much he kept my battered copy and gave me a new one as a ‘thank you’ for sharing such genius. I’m enjoying it as much (if not more) my second time through and am already planning another re-reading fairly soon. There’s so much going on that I think you could read it endlessly and keep discovering new, interesting things.

I started listening to God is Not Great during my work commute this week and am greatly enjoying it. It’s been on my short list to read but I haven’t gotten to it yet. I saw it available on CD, read by the author, on our last library visit, so I checked it out. I’m loving the book, and it’s even better listening to Hitchens read it himself (with his very dignified British accent). He’s a writer that I respect quite a bit. Anybody who insists on being waterboarded as research for his story on torturing POWs certainly deserves my respect. Beyond that, though, I find him an intelligent and impressive human being. (Who also happens to be a vegetarian, as are all truly intelligent and compassionate people. Yep, I’ve said it and stand by it. If you’re not vegetarian/vegan then you are lacking or deficient in one or both of these traits. You can decide which.)
____________________


Since I wrote the above, my spirits have dropped considerably. I've been waiting for a dress I ordered to arrive, and it arrived today. I've been trying to find a "little black dress" that fits and will work for dressy events until I lose weight. I found one online that I LOVED and ordered it. I knew it would be close, because the chest measurement they had listed was very iffy, but I figured (or hoped, more accurately) I would be able to scrunch the girls in. I LOVED the dress in person--it's gorgeous! I put it on, zipped it up, and as soon as I got to the bustline, the zipper stopped and refused to go any higher. From that point down, the dress fit great and looked great. I called M to bring a goddamn shoehorn and get the fucker to zip whatever it takes. He was afraid to rip the dress, and wouldn't force it the rest of the way up. Fuckety fuck fuck (yep, I'm so annoyed I'm cursing like a small child)!

I have to lose 1" from the girls to get into that dress, and I have 31 days to do it. I'm so flipping sick of having pointless, heavy, huge breasts. I want to shrink them. I have to find a way. I mentioned the term, "reduction", and after my husband spun his head around 360 degrees and said "Nooooooo" in a Satan voice, I thought I'd better try to eat next to nothing, take all the supplements I can find, and workout everyday. If they don't start shrinking the old fashioned way, I will revisit the discussion. I've just had enough of them--they are impossible to shop for!

So then I decided to investigate shapewear. I have never worn any type of shapewear and vowed that I never would. I HATE tight clothes. I feel like I'm suffocating. But I'm also desperate. So I'm checking out the Spanx options online when I saw these pictures and got really irritated. It's shapewear for god's sake! Why do they have 80 pound stick women modeling it? Seriously, who wears shapewear--not the anorexic chics! Are real women with curves so scary that they can't even model the clothing that is made for them? WTF! Then I start to notice that all of the pictures, the models have on this red necklace and they are smiling and laughing. Yeah, because we all walk around socializing in jewelry, heels and fat hiders. Who the hell needs a dress when you have shapewear with red necklaces red hooker shoes.