Ummm.

We finally got our tree up last weekend! L & H put all of the ornaments on this year, oh except for the ornaments made by my children. L didn't want those on, so she just left them in the ornament bin. I put every one of them on the tree. They took a break from their cat city game (that lasted for about two days and one night!) to decorate. As is our tradition, Alvin and the Chipmunks, followed by Elvis were bringing xmas joy in the background.

The cats have been enjoying it, though I am absolutely shocked that the twins haven't destroyed it as I was sure they would. Apparently they've been too busy tormenting the other cats to completely destroy the tree. In anticipation of the horrible things they may do, we added additional ties to secure it, so it's very solid and secure.

The ornaments, ribbons, and garland are frequently knocked down and rearranged by the cats, who think it's the perfect nap spot. I can't keep Lila out of it, and I've given up trying. I have to admit that she is the cutest ornament!We have most of our shopping done and the majority of our wrapping done (whew!). That's how we spent our date night last night. We still have two extremely difficult people left, so I'm a little stressed about that.

I'm on vacation until the third. This is the two weeks I work the rest of the year for. This week will be consumed with grading finals and cooking for the holiday festivities. I'm hoping next week brings much relaxation and time for household projects that we really, really need to work on.

I'm finding that gifts are a little awkward, as the parent of an adult child. Dej is determined to get M & I xmas gifts. Much like our recent birthdays, we asked her not to get us anything. We don't like the idea of her spending her hard-earned money on us. We truly, truly would be happier if she saved the money or got something for herself. She didn't listen to us for our birthdays and got us each nice gifts. So now that it's xmas time, we've had the same conversation again. She's refusing to listen this time as well. We definitely appreciate her thought, and really wish she would leave it at that.

However, as the adult child of parents, I have had my parents insist for years that they didn't want me to get them anything. I didn't listen to them either. I thought they were just being nice, but I now understand that it is extremely difficult and uncomfortable to take something from your child! It really seems wrong. As the adult child who ignored their request more times than I can count, I insisted on getting them gifts because I really enjoy giving them gifts.

So what goes around, comes around, and now I get to play both roles. I don't think it will ever feel right to accept anything from my child--I am supposed to be the giver; they are supposed to be the takers. I will however accept gifts from my child(ren) with joy and gratitude, because it's something they enjoy doing, and I don't have the right to deprive them of the joy of giving to someone they care about. I will keep reminding myself of this so I feel less icky about taking money out of my child's wallet. It's not yet an issue with L, because her money comes from us, so I am able to enjoy the thought she put into selecting a gift without the guilt and ick factor.

It's a little funny that the rare times I have conflict with my mother or adult daughter, the disagreements are mostly centered on who gets to do the 'nice thing' ("NO! You didn't let me pay last time we went, so you don't get to pay this time."). I certainly can't complain about that, though.

It does really make me stop and think about how incredibly hard it must be for an aged parent to deal with the role reversal of their child as caretaker. I can only guess that it must be one of the hardest adjustments a parent can experience (at least a normal parent; I know some horribly narcissistic parents who have no problems taking from and demanding from their children, and that's really sad!).