A start

The last part of this week and this weekend were a little unusual for us, as we had no additional people there (Hunter was at his grandma’s) and not much scheduled. M worked a ton this week and weekend, so when he was home, he wasn’t worth too much. That left L and I with a lot of time together, which was nice. We had our normal house and animal chores to do but we were able to get a lot of little miscellaneous projects wrapped up. I felt pretty productive. It would have been a great weekend to catch up on weeding, but the weather didn’t cooperate very well.

Dej came over quite a bit to hang with us, and the girls and I all went out shopping on Thursday (or Friday? My days are all confused and running together). Her boyfriend, Luke, works a lot of hours this time of year, leaving her bored a lot. It works for me, since I get more time with her.

I find it entertaining that this boyfriend (as well as her last) is into landscaping. He also seems to be a workaholic, like M. When she was in her obnoxious, mouthy, middle-school years, she used to take great pleasure in bitching about the fact that her dad didn’t have a “normal dad job” (WTF?), but worked with FLOWERS (spat out like it was an epithet—one of the dirtiest). It was pointless to re-iterate to her the education, skill, knowledge, and hard work that went into his horrible flower job (director of horticulture). Time has certainly changed her perspective, and we can now laugh at what a dumbass she was!

Sunday was L’s first dance class with Meenakshi (her regular teacher) being back from her maternity leave. Meenakshi is much stricter than Ramya, and much more demanding. I appreciate that, and am glad to have it back. L realized yesterday that her arms get tired a lot faster in class now, because Meena notices right away if they relax their arms and corrects them. The arm and hand position that must be rigidly and tightly held throughout many of her steps is very hard to maintain. She started working out yesterday with the two-pound dumbbells, working on her arms/shoulders. I showed her some exercises that would help build those muscles, and now she’s hoping to maintain her perfect position tighter and longer.

For the first time since she started dance (almost a year ago), she started learning a real dance with music in class yesterday. Up until now, she’s been learning steps, positions, and theory. She finally knows enough to learn a full dance and perform in the big upcoming performances. She has been saying all along that she wouldn’t perform in front of crowds. She did do a very brief, easy performance at Dassera last year, but it was just illustrating a few easy steps. This is completely different. It’s a choreographed performance.

We hadn’t really discussed performances with her, because there was no point, so early in the game. We figured we would deal with that when we get nearer to that time. So when Meenakshi casually taught them the correct way to enter and exit the stage and take positions, she got a whiff of what was going on. I was hoping she hadn’t noticed the statement, but she did. I anticipated a long discussion on the ride home, with us trying to sell her on performing, or even resorting to bribery (we believe public performances and speaking are very important components of a well-rounded education, and I’m not above a little bribery on occasion). I was wrong, though. Meena’s next statement took care of everything for us. She told the girls that they would get their bells for the performance. Duh-duh-da-duuuhhh BELLS! Bharatanatyam dancers wear bells on their ankles. They wear them on both feet, and they are very fun. They sound cool when you’re walking. They make the dance sound and look much better. They are bells! Hell, I would wear bells on my ankles just for fun, but I think my co-workers might hurt me. That triggered visions in her little head of the beautiful performance costumes, the jewelry, the makeup—all things that make her very happy.

There was no discussion necessary in the car. In fact, as soon as we got home, she started practicing the portion of the dance she had learned in class. They only learned about the first 30 seconds or so, but she has practiced it and shown M and I repeatedly. She is inspired to be the best dancer ever, suddenly.

I know my child, and know that she would ultimately have chosen to perform either way. Arguing for solidarity—“you girls are a team, and your teammates are counting on you being up there with them”—is always effective with her. She’s quite logical and appeals to her logic and her personal honor and integrity almost always work. I was thrilled, though, that we didn’t have to use any of the arguments I’ve been developing for this purpose over the last few months. That will allow me to save them for a future date!

I’m happy about the resolution and even happier that she’s so excited about her future performances. I am trying not to think about how much the clothes, jewelry, bells, and other accessories (shipped from India) will cost. I can worry about that next month.