Don't go Hitch; we still need you here!

I was so profoundly moved after reading this letter, that I had to post and share it!

The loss of the brilliant Christopher Hitchens will be a tremendous loss to this world. He is not a perfect man, but hewill be sorely missed. He is facing death as he has faced life—with courage, dignity, intelligence, and wisdom. I am a better person because he lived and shared his magnificent brain with the world. Thank you, Hitch.

Original post can be found at: http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2011/04/hitchens_address_to_american_a.php#comments


Christopher Hitchens was scheduled to appear at the American Atheist convention, but had to cancel because of his illness. He sent this letter instead.

Dear fellow-unbelievers,

Nothing would have kept me from joining you except the loss of my voice (at least my speaking voice) which in turn is due to a long argument I am currently having with the specter of death. Nobody ever wins this argument, though there are some solid points to be made while the discussion goes on. I have found, as the enemy becomes more familiar, that all the special pleading for salvation, redemption and supernatural deliverance appears even more hollow and artificial to me than it did before. I hope to help defend and pass on the lessons of this for many years to come, but for now I have found my trust better placed in two things: the skill and principle of advanced medical science, and the comradeship of innumerable friends and family, all of them immune to the false consolations of religion. It is these forces among others which will speed the day when humanity emancipates itself from the mind-forged manacles of servility and superstitition. It is our innate solidarity, and not some despotism of the sky, which is the source of our morality and our sense of decency.

That essential sense of decency is outraged every day. Our theocratic enemy is in plain view. Protean in form, it extends from the overt menace of nuclear-armed mullahs to the insidious campaigns to have stultifying pseudo-science taught in American schools. But in the past few years, there have been heartening signs of a genuine and spontaneous resistance to this sinister nonsense: a resistance which repudiates the right of bullies and tyrants to make the absurd claim that they have god on their side. To have had a small part in this resistance has been the greatest honor of my lifetime: the pattern and original of all dictatorship is the surrender of reason to absolutism and the abandonment of critical, objective inquiry. The cheap name for this lethal delusion is religion, and we must learn new ways of combating it in the public sphere, just as we have learned to free ourselves of it in private.

Our weapons are the ironic mind against the literal: the open mind against the credulous; the courageous pursuit of truth against the fearful and abject forces who would set limits to investigation (and who stupidly claim that we already have all the truth we need). Perhaps above all, we affirm life over the cults of death and human sacrifice and are afraid, not of inevitable death, but rather of a human life that is cramped and distorted by the pathetic need to offer mindless adulation, or the dismal belief that the laws of nature respond to wailings and incantations.

As the heirs of a secular revolution, American atheists have a special responsibility to defend and uphold the Constitution that patrols the boundary between Church and State. This, too, is an honor and a privilege. Believe me when I say that I am present with you, even if not corporeally (and only metaphorically in spirit...) Resolve to build up Mr Jefferson's wall of separation. And don't keep the faith.

Sincerely
Christopher Hitchens

The King

This is the month we have to start all of the cats and dogs on their flea/tic/heartworm/etc. stuff. I HATE putting those chemicals on the crew, but I think I would hate more being infested with fleas or having one of the babies get heartworm. It is very expensive. Though all there is to it is squirting the tube contents onto the back of their necks, some of them are surprisingly squirrely about it! I'm glad it's done for a month.

Ivan started taking kitty Prozac on Friday. He will need to take it for three weeks before we can expect to see if it is helping. I’ve been considering this option for a few months, and it is definitely a last resort. His grumpiness and growling just gets worse and worse. He’s great with me. As long as he’s near me, he is the happiest most contented little normal cat you could imagine. He loves the immediate family but dislikes most other people and almost all cats. He has become more and more fearful through the years, and his growling whenever another cat moves has elevated to growling at imaginary things, even when he’s the only cat in a closed room!

His behavior has gone from being a major irritation to me to really distressing me. He is terrified of everything, and it seems like he’s now terrified of things nobody else is aware of—poor crazy little guy. He’s perfectly healthy. His strange personality has been attributable to “singleton syndrome,” which affects kittens who are not raised with siblings. I can accept his strangeness and difficult personality but I don’t think he is happy. I want him to be happy more often than when he is touching me. I don’t want to change him or his brain, but I can’t leave him in this unhappy state.

If he was my human child, I would explain to him how his brain works and how the chemicals and the electrical pulses are causing him to feel this way. We could work on a plan for being aware of these thoughts and feelings and ways to counteract or work around them. While he and I communicate astoundingly well (you should see it actually—it’s quite amazing), I’m pretty sure this approach isn’t going to help his little cat brain. I’ve done all of the environmental modifications I can think of, and so this is truly a last resort for him.

I have a months’ worth, so by the time we run out of pills, I should be able to tell if it is helping, hurting or doing nothing. If they help him, I will continue them for a while, to see if we can just rewire his brain circuitry a bit. He may be able to come off them in the future—at least that’s my hope. If it doesn’t seem like he is any happier or more relaxed, then I will… I have no idea, but I’m sure I will find something else to try. He’s my baby and he deserves to be happy!

It’s very frustrating for me to not be able to get into the heads of my non-human animals! I try so hard but nothing I do will allow me to see and experience the world exactly as they do. I know I have a far better idea of their world than most other humans, just because it is so very important to me and I spend so much time and energy on it. Ultimately, the better I understand them, the happier I can make them, and that is so important to me. Besides that, it’s just damn interesting to be able to see and experience the world from different points of view, whether human or non-human animal.

Hunting season

We’ve reached the time of year when I can again wear my wedding rings without them falling off. Now I’m trying to adjust to wearing them again (I don’t wear rings). I put them on this morning, and will be used to them in a few days, but now they feel annoying and I keep messing with them. I know my husband prefers me to wear the rings so I look like a married woman (because I just can't keep the throngs of men away otherwise ;-P ), but I think I would prefer a tattoo 'ring' rather than real ones. I really dislike the feeling of rings on my fingers.

L found more eggs than the others combined (and we even gave them a little help), and she was pretty proud of herself. Since some eggs contain cash and some contain candy, there is some motivation to work for them. We put one egg inside a cat toy, and Carrie noticed it right away and became obsessed with getting it out.

Each of the three found their baskets, sort of. L found hers fairly early in the egg hunt. Dej found Russ’ and thought it was hers, which puzzled me a bit. Both girls have had the same exact baskets since their very first spring, yet somehow Dej didn’t notice her basket was now a yellow chick instead of a pink bunny? She handed the chick over to Russ and went looking for her basket. L found it first, but wouldn’t tell her where it was, so she had to find it on her own (with a hint from me or it could have taken her all day).

The big kids then went back home to nap before the family dinner of stir fry at my parents’ house later. We all met there for a delicious mid-day dinner, followed by my mom’s pineapple orange cake. My parents’ got us all nerf guns. L got a big six shooter, while the rest of us got a single shooter. We were definitely outgunned in the match—we all took her on and she still won. The rest of the afternoon, until we left for home, involved shooting. L proved to be a very good shot (much better than me), and was challenging herself by lying on the floor shooting up at the rotating blades of the ceiling fan. She hit the blades more often than not, again confirming that she did not get her eye-hand coordination from me!

Libby, one of my mom’s cats, loves to play with the little nerf bullets, so she kept an eye on where they landed. She would sometimes pick them up and carry them around in her mouth like little stogies and run off with them and sometimes she used her claws to pick them up and toss them from one hand to the other. She was very cute and entertaining with them. We had already lost a few of the bullets yesterday, but my mom got a package of extras, so we’re good for a while. We haven’t yet played with them at home, so I’m anxious to see which of our cats will be interested, which will be obsessed, and which will be afraid.

Wisdom from Walter

Our First Responsibility

by Walter Bond

On more than one occasion, activists or vegans have asked me what they can do to be more effective against animal exploitation. In this article, I am going to discuss our first responsibility to out animal relations. No matter who we are or where we may find ourselves this responsibility never leaves us. That responsibility is to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves. I know it sounds simple and elementary and usually when I say that to one of my vegan sisters or brothers I get that look like I am being semantic or too basic with my advisement. Buts it is not such a simple task and its vastly important that we as individuals and groups of individuals master this elusive skill.

Anytime we speak third party, its difficult to not throw in our own opinions, beliefs and emphasis, actually its nearly impossible. But in the broader sense an over abundance of personal projection will invariably lead to a completely compromised message. So then the questions arise how do we speak for others not even of our own species? What statements can we make that apply to all species of sentient beings? What are the most effective and important points to make on behalf of our animal family?

Let's look at these questions one at a time:

1. How do we speak for others not of our own species?

First off, we speak out in their favor. But in order to do that we need to be speaking from the heart and not just our heads. There is nothing wrong with intellectual and reasoned arguments but they can be taken to a fault. As anyone seasoned in the art of debate knows, if you are clever enough you can find a logic to nearly any side of an issue. So before we speak up and speak out we must understand that our voice is for them. We must understand that we are going to purposefully fashion points of our conversation in favor of animal liberation because that is how we feel. We love animals. We love the Earth. When we fashion our intellectualism around our love, passion and ferocity, two incredibly important things happen. First, we will attract other passionate people. Secondly, no matter what the outcome of the conversation you will speak authoritatively instead of playing on people's sympathy which always comes across as weak.

Next, when we speak for the animals we do not need to be constantly concerned with how people will take it or if they can handle it. This overly concerned mentality of how your points will be perceived leads to all kinds of problems and compromises. Our responsibility is to say what needs to be said. Not how people will take it. Trust me on this, I know, I can write a brief paragraph and 100 people will see it from 90 different perspectives. If you become worried about how everyone takes things, you will quickly find yourself constantly explaining what you meant. No matter what anyone thinks about a statement like “Animals exist for their own intents and purposes, not human ends”, it is incredibly important that its said.

There is a very faulty logic that welfarists and supplicants embrace. Its an idea that every little subtle point made may one day blossom into that person turning into an uber-conscience vegan. More in keeping with reality is that you're asking too much of people. You cannot expect people to connect the dots on their own just because you did. This kind of compromised approach leads to the single issue syndrome. Anti-fur activists that drink milk, prairie dog activists that go out for burgers after a demo and so on and so forth. But statements like the aforementioned or “Your rights end where another begins” better explain why its never OK to use another for their body or by-products. Whether they are a cow being, sheep being, bee being or human being. Which brings us to the next question.

2. What statements can we make that apply to all species of sentient beings?

This question is a large reason why I prefer the term “animal liberation” instead of “animal rights”. The term “animal” is used as a blanket statement it covers so many critters and various forms of life that its hardly adequate when it comes to considering autonomy and individuality. That said its still a very applicable word primarily because our kind is in a constant state of oppressing all kinds. With our food choices, technologies, societies, and constant attitudes of human supremacy. And this is truly the difference between “human” and “animal”. Ours is a premeditated subjugation. Indeed you will never find an elephant that enslaves bees so they can dine on their puke. But since species vary so radically in so many ways, their individual rights in accord with human use become profuse. And just the cataloging of each beings “rights” is an exercise in futility. But since human use and abuse is their common problem, then liberation from that use and abuse is the answer. At the end of the day, animals do not need our love, people constantly exploit the objects of their “love”.

Animals need us to leave them alone. We need to love animals because as humans we will never fight and sacrifice for others in any meaningful way unless we feel a strong or powerful emotional connection like love, hate, or true empathy. So in answer to the question what statements apply to all sentient beings? It is those which speak to their total freedom from human usage. This is more than mere abolitionist rhetoric. Its an honest assessment of the wishes and desires of others. If you give a hen the choice between death by factory farm, a life of laying eggs in a “free range” prison or a coop on a family farm, she will choose freedom from any human use every time. So as long as the animals are abolitionists, we should be too!

3. What are the most effective and important points to make on behalf of our animal family?

First and foremost, we need to always challenger the validity of animal enterprises. The idea that meat eaters need animal flesh, the idea that hunters need to help control animal populations, the idea that animals want to be used by humans, or the idea that god has given us dominion are pure bullshit! People profit off of, or in someway personally gratified by, animal exploitation and murder. All their arguments to the contrary are just word games to justify what they want to do in the first place. Another important point that can always be made is the speciesism involved in all of our decisions to use animals. Practice reciting a person's answer back to them only replacing the animal with a human to expose what they are truly defending. You do this very effectively in nearly any conversation or debate.

Examples include but are not limited to:

Vivisection

Statement: “It is OK to experiment on animals because they aren't as smart as humans”
Answer: “So why don't we experiment on the mentally challenged, they're not as 'smart' either”

Animals for food

Statement: “People have been eating animals for thousands of years, its natural”
Answer: “Men have also been raping women for thousands of years, incest has been taking place for thousands of years. Ever more to the point, cannibalism has been around on a global scale up until about 3,500 years ago. So are these abuses also 'natural' just because they've been around for a long time?”

Animals for entertainment

Statement: “They are fed and taken care of, they have it better than they did in the wild”
Answer: “So if we sentenced you to a life in a cage and put you on display, you would be doing better than the people in the free world because your meals are free?”

The ways in which you can use this tactic to expose speciesism are the limitless and very effective. As far as debates are concerned, like I said in the beginning of this article, its vastly more important that we speak the truth for animals and their agenda of animal liberation than we often think. A compromised voice for others invariably leads to compromised actions. And the next thing you know, you're back to the vegan tupperware party seriously thinking that brownie and cookie recipes are activism.

Giving voice to those that have none is a primary function of a vegan ethic. Veganism and animal liberation are not just a diet or a way of thinking. They are an ethic. One that is quickly becoming lost and co-opted by producers of products and consumer driven markets. Honestly, I don't have a problem with the dietary promotion of veganism. Because if the masses are ever to embrace it, then it must be marketed to them at some point. But in a rush to win converts over to this lifestyle, the message and higher conscience that accompany it have been dumped by the wayside. This is why nearly all my writings have been and will be targeting my own vegan and animal lib communities. Because until, and unless we start straightening out our own thinking on the relevant issues, ethics and bottom-lines, we will forever lack cohesion, radicalism and the teamwork necessary to move these mountains of murder. And personally, I find it rewarding to be able to shake my vegan sisters and brothers out of their doldrum and replace it with a zeal and passion.

Even if I can only reach you a few at a time, because I am much like you, I never feel like I am doing enough for animals. It seems the more active we become the more that frustration can grow. Its simply a symptom of being a caring person in a cruel world that you cannot immediately change. I, to have stood in awe at the horror and callousness that our kind inflicts on all kinds, have had nightmares and terrible feelings of guilt and shame for all those I cannot save because I am just one, little imperfect person raging against institutionalized cruelty. And I have eating a piece of vegan cheesecake with glee because just like many of us, my inner child is a fat kid with his hand in the cookie jar. But I have also come to understand that nothing great is won for ourselves or others without great sacrifice, hard work and focus. And I would rather die fighting these injustices than go along with business as usual for even one more day. And if that's how you feel inside, then we truly know each other even though we have never met.

Animal Liberation, whatever it may take!

Walter Bond, Press Officer

North American Animal Liberation Press Office
Prisoner of War

Original post can be found at: http://www.supportwalter.org/Articles/11-4-20_Our_First_Responsibility.htm

About Ben

L and I recently finished a book called, The Fifth Child, for our bedtime reading. I read aloud to her every night and try to select books a level or so above what she could comprehend on her own. Sometimes I hit and sometimes I miss with my selections. This one was a very good read and L was immersed in it, asking to start reading time early most nights, so we would have more time. Though short, it packed a lot of material in there that really makes you think and question. It’s been compared somewhat in theme to Frankenstein. Though it is nothing like Frankenstein in style, there are many similarities in the themes explored. Because this is a pet peeve of mine, I have to detour here to say that Frankenstein is not a horror story about a monster. If you haven’t yet read this book, you should! It’s quite powerful and thought provoking.

I don’t want to share too much of the book, because I’m hoping you’ll read it for yourself, and I don’t want to spoil it (I would be happy to loan it out). This book is primarily from the perspective of David & Harriet, the (irresponsible breeder) parents of Ben, who is their fifth child. Born into a seemingly perfect, happy family, he is strange/unusual/evil (it’s up to us to decide what he is and how we feel about it) and proceeds to destroy everything they have built. While L and I absolutely loathed David & Harriet, we also loathed Ben. He clearly did not fit into or belong in the world in which we live, and there’s no indication that he ever could.

The parents’ relationship with one another, with their other four children, and with their family and community are shattered as a result of Ben’s existence. The themes/questions invoked are those that make us uncomfortable to explore and discuss, probably because there isn’t a “right” answer, an easy answer, or any type of win-win scenario that emerges as a solution to problems of this nature. Like Frankenstein, it explores the nature and responsibility of the parent (creator) to the child (“monster” or Ben). What is to be done if you create a child/being that you cannot parent? What is your responsibility if the child/being you created/taken responsibility for poses a tremendous threat to the world at large? What is to be done if nobody can or chooses to parent? What is your responsibility if the child will never be able to function in this world—is it kinder to put them out of their misery or to allow them a lifetime of unmitigated misery? What is your responsibility to your existing other children, if one child poses a tremendous threat to their well-being and their very lives? How does a person resolve such split loyalties? Further, these questions can be applied to society at large and the many social problems that we struggle with as a result of these misfits—not all of whom, but many of whom are very dangerous to others and always will be. I was pleased with the conversations that this spurred between L and me. We usually needed a ten-minute chat time after our reading each night to process what we read and how we felt about it.

We are now reading the sequel to this book, Ben in the World**. This book explores Ben’s life as an independent teen and then an adult. He is truly alone and miserable. This is our first exposure to Ben’s inner world, and we found our opinions of Ben dramatically changed with this book. We haven’t yet reached the halfway point of the book, so we may change our minds again before it’s over. I’m intrigued with the author’s skill at really taking from one viewpoint to the other. Throughout the first book, we really felt that Ben should be eliminated. In this book however, I suddenly feel very sympathetic to Ben and his plight of being something he clearly has no choice in or control over. Suddenly I want to protect Ben, rather than kill him. L hasn’t brought up her feelings yet about that topic. I tend to wait for her to bring up issues or questions and respond to them. I don’t want to influence her thoughts or feelings by stating mine first.

**NOTE: This book had a couple of short sex scenes that I didn’t read aloud to L, just in case anyone is considering reading this with a child. They are not particularly graphic or nasty, but L is not comfortable with that and would prefer not to hear it. I knew the book contained these portions, because my girlfriend who gave me the books is a literature professor (she covered them in a class) warned me before I read them to L. I just compressed the two or three paragraphs down to, “They had sex.” The scenes were in no way gratuitous and did serve to advance the characters/plot, but the book still reads as complete without them.

Strangely enough, I found some of the themes, particularly those addressing parental split loyalties, applicable to some of the cat issues I’ve been struggling with. When one has committed to raise and protect multiple dependent beings, and the best interests of each of these beings are at odds with one another, what can be done? What if you’re really faced with a zero-sum game: Only one of two can be happy—how does one choose who to save and who to throw under the bus?

Some of our cats are clearly miserable as a result of the twins’ (Basil and Charlie) tendency to pick and tease relentlessly. I have done everything I can to mitigate this situation and try to find solutions that allow everyone to feel safe and happy. One of the solutions is that Basil & Charlie are confined to the cat room when we are gone for a stretch of time (more than 3-4 hours), which gives the other cats a little break and safety from the twins. Fortunately, the twins don’t remotely mind being confined to the cat room, and happily run right into it when they are called. This hasn’t solved the problem though, and I can’t help wondering if Jasper, Petey, and Ivan resent me, as David & Harriet’s children did for their inability to completely protect them from Ben. I spend a lot of time running interference, preventing issues, and stressing about this situation. I also spend a lot of time hoping that the boys will grow out of it—they are only two years old now, so they are still very much youngsters. What if they don’t outgrow it? Can I continue to patrol my home, jumping up every three to ten minutes all day and night to run interference for someone and periodically separating them for a duration of years? I’m exhausted and distressed over the last year. Like David, M is much less forgiving than I, and tends to describe the twins’ behavior as “mean and evil”, where I tend to see it as “immature, inappropriate play”. I certainly don’t have the answers, but I will continue to do my best and explore every angle and possible solution.

As difficult as it is to be a “cat mommy” in this situation, my heart absolutely breaks for the parents of human children who are living this nightmare. How do they deal with one child who poses a mortal threat to their other children and/or themselves? What about if the threat is that of permanent emotional damage, robbing the children of a childhood? I have seen and read stories of these people. I remember one in particular where one child, who was only 9 or 10, was extraordinarily out of control and dangerous to those around her. The parents ended up maintaining an apartment, along with their home, and they took turns living there with the problem child while the other parent stayed at home with the other kids. What a tragedy for all that this was the best possible solution for them. How fortunate for them that they could make it with the additional expense of another household. Many parents would not/do not have that option, and then what?

Flashback

I got a call last week from Rock Prairie Montessori, where L attended KG, telling me I could come pick up her hand print tile. These tiles were up on a wall there, and they took them all down to redo the wall. Her hands have grown a lot in six years!

*B&W pics are from a collection of pics of my girls through the years that I'm going to put in my letterpress tray project;

I read an essay that Dej wrote and left saved on our desktop. I have read most of her academic writing this way since middle school, and through those rough, rough years, sometimes reading her thoughts was the only thing that gave us hope that there was a decent person in there, with a good brain, and she would emerge again someday. Now she has emerged, and I still enjoy reading her academic work, because she’s a good writer and I enjoy the little window into her brain. I am deeply fascinated by the brain (in general, but even more so my children’s) and consider the study of and quest to learn more about it one of my favorite hobbies.

The subject of this essay was on her own morals and values—what they are, how she acquired them, etc. It was very interesting and gave me much to think about. I have to admit, that reading that provided me with a feeling of being a successful parent (which is nice, because I’m usually focused on my shortcomings as a parent), and I was very pleased to walk away with confirmation of what I have been starting to suspect--despite my 9 billion shortcomings, my goals for my daughter have been realized, though she is still an evolving work in progress.

My goal as a parent has never included such things as my kids having a specific career, making a particular amount of money, achieving status (social status, marital status, or becoming a breeder), liking me, or even being happy. I realize with stating the last, other mothers are now gasping, thinking, “How could she not care if her child is happy?! What a beast!” Isn’t that what we are all supposed to want for our children? “I don’t care what she does as long as she’s happy.” (Usually followed by a self-satisfied sigh, knowing that such an unselfish wish will guarantee a spot in the perfect mother hall of fame.) If I were to include happiness on my list of what I wish for my children, the list that will make me feel like I have succeeded as a parent, it would definitely be the last item on the list, and the most optional item. Our culture has become far too selfishly focused on personal happiness, which is often achieved at the expense of others. I feel strongly that it is impossible to find true happiness when you are focused only on yourself and your pursuit of the ever elusive "happiness".

Like every other good/decent parent in the U.S., I am thrilled when my kids are happy. In fact, it is a constant struggle for me to not constantly interfere in an effort to make sure their lives are smooth, easy, and that they have everything that they desire. Happiness is great, but it is just not the single most important factor in a successful life. I’ve never tried to create a list of what I wanted for my children before, though I keep a running mental list. It strikes me now that perhaps having a tangible list created as a guideline and reminder of what matters might have been a good thing to have from birth to help keep our parenting focused on the right things. Here’s my first effort (in stream of consciousness and unedited):

1. Aware of and sensitive to the plights of all—not just those in her country, or social class, or species—and dedicated to help improve the lives of all beings they encounter.

2. Aware that they are better off than the majority of beings on this planet, and due to no effort of their own. It’s just sheer dumb luck that they happened to be born in the U.S., healthy, into a middle class, educated family with the means to nourish their minds and bodies. Because they have so much (and I don’t mean money, because we don’t have much of that at all), much is expected of them and service to others is mandatory.

3. Effective brain usage and life-long learning: They should understand how brains in general work and specifically how their own work and how they can improve their brain and mitigate its inherent flaws, and use it to its fullest capacity. For both of my girls, I will throw completing college in on this point. While college is not compatible with all brains, it is with theirs. Much like M & I, they have brains that flourish in the traditional learning environment and the best way for them to continue to develop their brains and maximize their potential to contribute to the world, college is the best fit. If their brains were different (not inferior, but wired differently) and did not flourish in that type of learning environment, college (at least a traditional four year) would not be the best choice for them. There are other effective ways to pursue knowledge and lifelong learning.

4. Independent thinkers: Question everything and believe nothing without verifying for yourself. The tools and means of validation are available to all of us. The power is yours! Use it! Hearing something on the news or from your parents or your teacher, reading something in a textbook—nothing should be immune from your own due diligence. Just because you read it or hear it or both does not indicate that it is true. Likewise, just because the majority of people believe something or because it’s the way things have always been done, does not remotely make it right. Take responsibility and find truth on your own. Evaluate all issues, even those that are typically hot-button, emotional issues, through the lens of logic and reason.

5. Be an active and engaged citizen. Be aware of local issues as well as global issues and participate to your fullest extent in the little bit of democracy that we have left. Do what you know to be the right thing, regardless of the law or the opinions of those around you.

Hmm. Could that be it? I thought I would have more than five when I started, but maybe this covers it all. Or maybe I’m missing things and will wake in the middle of the night to remember some really important items that I have to add to this list.

For now though, if my children achieve all five of these, I will feel that I have done my job well. If they can achieve these things and be happy (and the odds are definitely in their favor), that is a bonus. If they end up liking me and choosing to spend time with me, even better.

She's a tease.

Spring made a brief appearance, but didn't stay. We now have tulips open and will most likely awake to find them covered in snow in the morning. I will be happy to see the last of winter, when it finally leaves for good. Friday night we all (M, L, H, Dej & Russ) all went to see the talk by Michael Shermer. I was so excited about it--I've been counting down days for the last month! I'm a big fan of his work (books & articles in Sci Am and Skeptic). He talked for about 1.5 hours, and the topic was Why People Believe Weird Things. He has a new book coming out in May that I'm also excited about.

The (inside) birds don't care what the outside temp is, but they certainly notice the extended day length. Some of them are very interested in building a nest and having a family (which is not influenced by whether or not they have a partner or have a partner of the opposite gender), and some are not. Those who are are busy staking out their little areas and building. Saffron, who is very old (we don't know how old she was when we got her, but we've had her for 15 years), has returned to her little nest in the corn plant that is still alive, despite the repeated attacks by our "beaver" rabbits at the trunk and by the birds at the leaves. Cypress, who we think is a male but is of a different species from Saffie, looks like he might be joining Saffie's family this year. He's been checking in with her on the nest and guarding from above.

Despite the crappy weather, the kids played outside Saturday for quite a long time. I spent Saturday cleaning the herbivore and doing other weekend chores. H had to go home Sat. night to hang with his dad, and L had to be at my parents' at 4:30 for this years' easter egg hunt at grandma's house. Her cousin Elijah was staying with my parents for the weekend, and wouldn't be coming Easter weekend, so she decided to move the hunt to this weekend. The kids took it very seriously and hunted hard, though I can't stand to see anyone get trounced, so M & I were sneaking hints to Elijah to keep things a little more even. Once the hunt was finished, we left for date night.

M & I had date night planned, and he had planned a night in Madison, as we've been having pretty uneventful date nights lately. We had dinner at Dhobans, where we've eaten a few times in the past. We were a little less pleased this time, as our pakaudas were a little underdone, as was my masala dosa. We then went to see a play at the Bartell. It's been way too long since we've been there, as we both always enjoy the shows and the venue. The play was Dead Certain, done by Mercury Players Theater (who we thing are always fantastic!), and there were only two characters in the entire play. It was interesting, suspensful, and left us with much to discuss on the ride home.

We ended up with a little extra time between dinner and the play, so M went to Bhan Tai to pick up some orders of mango sticky rice to go. We texted Dej on our way back to town to let her know we had sticky rice for her & Russ and would deliver it if they were at home. They were home working on their next stained glass mosaic piece--an octopus, so we arrived there at around 10:30 or so. We weren't planning to stay long, as we wanted to get home early, but ended up chatting, laughing, and having fun, and didn't make it home til midnight.

My grandkitties were adorable! Tillie stole the straw from my cup, as she always does. I was guarding it very carefully, too, and the stealthy little turd waited until the one moment my attention was distracted from guard duty, and stealthily snatched the straw, ran like the wind, and took it into their room (the cats have a bedroom full of cat toys) to show her brother Allistair.

Signs of spring

We had a very eventful weekend, with M, L, Hunter & I heading to Green Bay. M was speaking at a conference, and the hotel at which the conference took place had an indoor waterpark. While he spent his time shmoozing and being adored by his groupies, the kids and I hung out at the waterpark. M will remain on my shitlist for months, perhaps years, after his unpleasant last-minute surprises. I don't like surprises; I like control. The kids had a good time, though. It was H's first time at a water park--he had ear problems and tubes in his ears for many years, and only recently has been able to really enjoy water.

I couldn't endure eating a crappy fast-food-type meal on Friday night, so I used my new (free) app, HappyCow VeginOut, to find a veg restaurant and get me there and back. We went to Kuvarna, and I felt much better the minute we walked into the door. I don't like Green Bay. I don't like anything north of Madison, actually. It's icky; we don't fit in, and we definitely don't want to. We walked in there, though, and were amongst our own kind (hippies, tattoos, veg people, people with books), which was a very nice respite from the hotel/hotel area. I had the best spicy black bean burger I have EVER had! I'm salivating at the thought of it. The smoothies (I had peach) were awesome, too, and the yam fries were pretty good.

Later that night, we watched a Netflix movie (the kids' choice and it sucked; I worked on my laptop during it) in the room. M used his projector to project it onto the wall in our room, so the kids enjoyed the "big screen" and some popcorn. I had a ton of grading to get done, as well as consulting work, so I was up very late working, and worked Saturday at the water park for as long as my battery held its charge.

I was so disturbed at the waterpark by the number of fat and obese children (I am not even going into how disgusted I was by the number of men desperately in need of body hair removal! Blechhhh). It is absolutely unconscionable that parents do that to their kids. Adults can have a thousand and one different reasons/contributing factors to weight problems. I don't judge them. I know how incredibly hard it is to lose weight (especially as a menopausal woman over 40!), which makes me doubly angry that people abuse their kids that way. When children that young are that big, it is 100% the parents' fault and responsibility, and I wanted to just slap them for setting their children up for years of struggles with health and self esteem, not to mention the torment they will endure in school and beyond.

I had a very close friend throughout childhood, and we attended high school together. Her face was prettier than mine. Her personality was more sparkling. She had been a chubby little girl and continued to gain weight throughout childhood and her teen years. The fact that she was overweight in high school apparently gave the entire student body a license to torment her beyond words--beyond what any person should ever have to endure. She constantly struggled to lose weight. She did not eat any more than I did--probably less. This has been a lifelong issue that has impeded her quality of life in many, many ways. Because of what she had to go through, I have absolutely no tolerance for parents who are simply too lazy or undisciplined to make sure their children have a healthy start in life. Putting on weight and trying to lose it as an adult is hard but is nowhere near as difficult as it is when you have been that way since toddlerhood. I still get worked up an angry with those people when I think about what they have set those poor children up for! Saturday night, Dej, Russ, and I went to see Insidious. M was not interested in going(and it would have scared him), so he stayed home with the kids. I was trying to wait until it came to Netflix, but I'm weak. It looked really good, got good reviews, and I love the word, Insidious. How could I wait? We all really enjoyed the movie, with Dej and Russ vowing not to sleep alone anytime soon. :) Spring finally arrived in our garden this weekend, with some scilla and daffodils blooming. When I went out to take photos, I noticed some strange and disturbing items in the front garden. The kids played outside quite a bit, and they left these strange artifacts out, so the few remaining people in the neighborhood who didn't already think we're strange now do. They scewered a flyer that some church folks stuffed in our door handle and crucified a doll they found outside. I don't know wtf those kids were thinking.

a skeptic's view of alternative medicine

The last time I went to my acupuncture appointment, I sat in the waiting room reading, as I always do. I usually throw a magazine into my giant purse before any appointments or situations where I may have to wait, as that helps me get lost in reading and thus forget the rage that comes with waiting for someone who didn’t manage their time well. This time, the magazine I had brought with me and was reading was one of my faves, Skeptical Inquirer (I received a subscription for xmas from Dej), and I was trying to make sure the cover stayed concealed. I felt very naughty for reading one of the biggest critics of naturopathic medicine while sitting in my naturopathic clinic’s waiting room.

Here’s the thing—I believe 98% of what I read in Skeptical Inquirer (because it is mostly well-verified science, though every now and then they slip an opinion in), including their claims that naturopathic medicine is largely invalid and if benefits are realized, they probably due to the placebo effect. Yet there I sat, a naturopathic patient, paying for treatment out of my own very shallow pocket. At first glance, it seems like quite a dichotomy. Much of what occurs there, including homeopathy, is straight up woo, so why did I bother?

One of the reasons is that in the cases in which I went for treatment, I had already tried and failed to find help with western medicine. In each case, I was left with one of the following dispositions: take drugs, have surgery, live with the condition. I wasn’t happy with any of those options. I wanted relief but not from heavy-duty drugs or cutting and removing things, and so I decided to explore alternative options. I had reached the point of “can’t hurt, might help”. I was looking for the least invasive means of curing/relieving the problems, and those are not to be found in western medicine.

I have great trust in the science behind modern medicine and technology, but very, very little trust in the doctors who practice modern medicine. Doctors sell drugs and surgery. Those are both big profit makers, and ultimately it all comes back to money. If I went to a car dealership, and asked them to point me to the best way to get to work and back every day, they would try to sell me a car—a very expensive car, no doubt. They would not offer up the information that, given my circumstances, perhaps a bus pass would be the best, most cost effective solution. Likewise, allopathic doctors are not there to direct me to the bus pass solution, they want to sell me a car, and probably the most expensive one. As I was looking for the 'bus pass' of medical treatment, I went to an alternative practitioner.

Most doctors are also under tremendous pressure to push patients through in as little time as possible. If they do not make the targeted revenue (as determined by the clinic/HMO) in the fiscal year, they have to give back a portion of their salary. If they squeeze more in, they are financially rewarded for that, too. They are not recognized or compensated for spending 4 hours researching to make a diagnosis or find a less invasive treatment approach, so they don’t do it. They’re entire understanding of the symptoms/underlying cause and selection of a treatment occurs based on spending 15-20 minutes with the patient. They are not recognized or compensated if the patient is cured, happy, well, and doesn’t return for years, and nobody makes money when that happens. The goal is to get the patient in as often as possible, for a very short amount of time, and a maintenance prescription (check back every six months) and/or surgery accomplishes this goal as well as making a nice profitable bottom line. It’s a broken system that benefits insurance companies and HMOs—not the patient.

Naturopathic practitioners, on the other hand, spend a great deal of time with a patient—generally a full hour or more for each visit. They look at the whole being, down to a very detailed level, analyzing the diet, lifestyle, relationships, all symptoms, all functions of the body, which does allow them to catch things that western medicine misses in its fast and furious approach. They, by definition, look for the least invasive, most natural way to treat the underlying cause of the symptoms. This approach is superior in every way to the money-driven sloppiness involved in the diagnosis and drug-du-jour treatment of traditional medicine.

The treatment portion of naturopathy is where the quality starts to erode. There are some very effective treatments however—lifestyle changes (diet, rest, exercise, supplements, etc.) can make a big difference in one’s health. I did learn some very valuable and helpful things that improved my health and the quality of my life. Hands-on treatments (muscular-skeletal manipulation, and physically separating internal endometrial adhesions) also were beneficial for me. Homeopathy, strange machines that emitted vibrations or electric currents, and other woo-type methods were not effective for me at all. Acupuncture was a treatment that I had high hopes for, but after trying it for three different things—each of which it had been widely reported as being very successful in treating, I found no long-term benefits. I did experience an exhilarating calm during and right after treatment, but after following the full recommended course, there were no improvements, and I don’t feel the need to use acupuncture again.

I do not see alternative medicine as being a replacement for the hard science of (some, not all) western medicine, but it can serve as a complement to it. Given the money-driven approach to western medicine, there are many shortcomings. Given the current economic and political climate, I don’t see this improving anytime soon, if ever. Some of these shortcomings can be mitigated by naturopathic medicine, but it’s important with both approaches to be an educated, involved consumer. Nobody will care about your body or put the time into diagnosing and resolving it the way that you will. Though some of the treatments may be effective, many are a waste of time and money. However, even those that are proven to be worthless may still offer improvements via the placebo effect, and that too, can be a good thing. Feeling better is feeling better, and whether that comes from the patient’s mind or from the treatment itself, it is still a benefit.

Butterflies!

Well, I optimistically thought that taking a little break would somehow allow me to catch up with life and April would find me with more time on my hands. That has not happened, and realistically I don't see it happening anytime soon, so I'm back and I'll just keep trying to do my best with blogging.

I've accepted a consulting project, which I don't really have time to do but could not turn it down. It involves me writing an fairly complex application for a domain I know nothing about--a luxury marina. I usually prefer to just park my yacht in the driveway ;-), so I'm clueless about docks and slips and things like that. I should say I WAS clueless about it, but I'm learning more and more by the day. It's not often that such an unusual opportunity for learning pops up, and I love learning and love writing databases/applications, so I'm giving up sleep until I finish this project.

Each of my girls completed a butterfly for this year's Rotary Botanical Gardens' art fundraiser (like the flower L painted as a tiger last year). L did hers completely on her own. Completely. She isn't particularly interested in any input or assistance, so we left her alone with the paint she picked out, and she did her own thing. We don't yet have a picture of the back of hers, as it wasn't dry enough when M took the photos. I will provide that at a later date.

Dej worked on hers with Russ (her wonderful man), and they did a phenomenal job. They are both artists and work very well together. The front side of theirs is a mosaic done with stained glass and pearly gems. The back side is just paint.

I have seen many of the other butterflies that have been brought into the gardens, and they are fabulous. I can't wait to see them all up throughout the gardens. I especially can't wait to get the girls' up in our garden (though of course we will have to bid on them at the auction like everyone else).