Hallie

I've done a fabulous job, yet again, at procrastinating something I didn't feel like doing. Our Sweet Hallie died Tuesday, December 22. It's still very emotional for me to talk/write about, so I've put off blogging. I'm still not over Baxter, or my friend Carrie's death, and to have to deal with Hallie so soon is just too much! Sunday's ultrasound revealed an enlarged liver. She had lymphoma. It wasn't really the cancer that was killing her, though, it was that she quit eating and drinking.


We tried to put her on an IV and syringe feed her a high calorie wet food. If she could get past the dehydration and put on a little weight, she would have had a decent quality of life for at least a few weeks, but she wasn't up for the fight. According to our team of vets, siamese cats are notorious for giving up and not fighting through health issues.


By Tuesday, she had almost 36 hours of liquid and nutritious calories pumped into her, but was completely checked out emotionally. She had rallied breifly on Monday night and very clearly said her goodbyes, but I needed to see if she would improve the next day and I also needed to bring Lila (her daughter) in to say her goodbyes.


Luce, Lila, and I went in on Tuesday to see Hallie off. As always, it was so, so, so painful. She rallied again to say her goodbyes to Lila. She very obviously, "checked back in" to her body, and gave her daughter an affectionate face rub. They had a few moments together, then Hallie checked out again, and Lila was ready to get down and explore. Luce called the vet in and told her we were ready. She already had the IV line in, so it was quick and easy. We rubbed her cheeks and chin the way she loved, and told her we loved her until she was completely gone.


I have absolutely no doubt that that was what she wanted. She knew she was loved and that we respected her wishes. I wish she had tried to fight a little harder, a little longer. I would gladly have taken her and cared for her as long as she was willing, but I loved her too much to be selfish about keeping her with us. She was such a sweet girl and a good mommy!


She and Baxter have left us with two huge, gaping, unfillable holes in our home.


So now that I've finished the blog entry I've been avoiding, I can cover our holidays in my next post, which will be in a day or two--not 10 this time!