VeganMom...stumbling through life

We had a great gardening night tonight! I pulled a lot of weeds, and wrestled out some of the many volunteer maple trees that have popped up between our garage and our neighbors. I can't get over how big they have gotten already and how many there were. I'm already getting sore from the tree wrestling, but it's a good kind of sore.


While I weeded, M. filled our containers with soil. Then L & I planted up most of the containers tonight. We have a few left, but we need to get some specific plants for those that I put aside. This is the first year that L has helped with 'composing' the containers. M. gets to do so many at work, so I get to select all the plants and groupings for containers here at home. This year, L. wanted to do some of her own. I explained a few basic points to her--all the plants in a container need to have the same light and water needs, and we talked about growth habits--height, upright, cascading, etc., and how they should be varied for an interesting container. From there, I let her have at it. It was one of those moments where I just had to take a deep breath and let her do it her way. I have a tendency to want to take over, to make sure everything is coordinated just right, but I work hard to remind myself that it doesn't matter. If I take over and correct her or imply that her containers are somehow less than perfect, that will unnecessarily damage her self-esteem. I have to do the same reminding with some of her clothing choices, but again, if she's weather appropriate and feels pretty, that's all that is important.

I also got to bring in the first batch of our fresh organic catnip for my babies. They had fun with it, and it was all gone in a matter of minutes! L was very cute trying to divide it up to make sure everyone had the same amount.
Dej crushed her dad's heart. She came back from a friend's late last night. When M left for work this morning, he noticed that a hubcap from her car was lying in the garden on our terrace. The car D. drives was M's, and he is very attached to that car. He really suffered, seeing the abuse that the child has inflicted on his beloved old car. She apparently pulled up to the curb to park a little too vigorously last night, the hubcap popped off, and then she somehow managed to drive over it. It's pretty misshapen and mangled. I came down to the kitched to make L's breakfast this morning, to find a mangled hubcap on the table, with a note on top of it saying, "WTF?!" M, being traumatized and in a hurry to get to work, didn't think this one all the way through, because I also found some slugs on the table, who had hitched a ride in on the back of the hubcap. L and I took the slugs outside to the garden, cleaned up the table, and enjoyed some cantaloupe for breakfast. It was kind of a strange morning.


I've found myself bothered quite a bit lately by the comments of some parents (moms, really, but I hate to impugn other women). It really saddens me to hear so many parents talk about having their kids home in the summer as a curse or an imposition of some kind. Every year, when Dej finished the school year and was able to be home over summer, I was thrilled. When it was time for school to start again, I cried. I have NEVER anxiously counted down to the day I could send her back to school. I miss my girls intensely when they are not with me.

Having a whole summer with your children there all day, every day, is something that should be delightfully anticipated. The more I think about such a crappy attitude towards children, I realize that it makes me angry, as well as sad! I’m sad for the children who are parented by such selfish people. Children are incredibly perceptive and will have no trouble picking up on the fact that their mother doesn’t enjoy spending time with them. Why did these people have children? If they have created and raised a child that they themselves don’t enjoy spending time with, what does that say about their parenting skills. Our daughters are NOT perfect, but they are funny, smart, interesting people, who are a joy to talk to and spend time with. I will not ever turn down a single opportunity to spend time with my kids.

I find this particularly hard to stomach when it comes from SAHMs, and that is usually the case. They are supposed to be Stay-at-home MOMs, not stay-at-home lazy housewives, tv watchers, or Internet chatters. In addition to maintaining a household (with tons of animals) and being a mom, I manage to work, home school (developing much of my own curriculum), volunteer for many organizations, and don’t begin to have the luxury of time that these women have. So for them to have only running a household and parenting on their plate and still begrudge having to parent their children “extra” time during the summers, I am, quite frankly, disgusted by their wasteful and selfish lives. I’m also outspoken and quite frequently offensive. I can live with that. :D