Love and loss

Today was full of nature--in all it's beauty and cruelty. Thankfully, there was a lot more beauty! We went to Orinda's this morning, after I picked Dej up from her last exam at 9:30. It was very hot but the strong wind kept the air moving, so it was fairly pleasant to be outside. Shortly after arriving, Logan showed me a little mouse he had found in the yard, he thought she was dead, but we checked and saw she was breathing. She was a tiny little thing; her eyes weren't even open yet. Very, very cute! I picked her up and checked for injuries/damage and found none. Orinda looked around the yard for quite a long time for a mouse nest but wasn't able to find one. We packed Luciana's rain boot (they are good for walking in the swamp) with grass, clover, tissues, and paper towels to make a nice little warm nest for the mouse. I couldn't get her to take water and didn't have any KMR with me, although maybe I should start carrying a small container and syringe this time of year. She She stayed snuggly and sleepy most of the time. I kept her with me and checked her often. We were all enamored with her cuteness and tinyness (probably not a real work, but it works). It doesn't usually turn out well or wild babies that young. Who knows what kind of internal problems they have or how long they have been without sustenance. I always try to save them, knowing that the odds are not in our favor. I have to believe with each one, though, that this one will pull through. I believe that positive energy is important for them to even have a chance at making it. Unfortunately, when they don't, I'm crushed. Anyway, on our way back into town, we stopped at Mounds (with our baby in a boot in tow) and picked up a little home for her and some KMR. I tried a feeding when I got home, but she was very uninterested. I basically just got a bit into the side of her cheek and let it trickle down. She wouldn't actively eat. That is always a really bad sign. I sat with her and my high hopes, keeping her warm, safe, and loved, which always makes me feel a bit helpless but it's all I could do. About an hour and a half later, I took her down to make her next feeding. I mixed it up, came back upstairs with the syringe, opened her little door, and found that she had died during that five minute period. L & I were heartbroken. How could we not care profoundly for one so small and helpless! We kept her until rigor started--it's a strange hang up I have--I cannot bury anyone until I have seen rigor, as I have a fear of burying someone who's just in a coma or something odd like that. When it was time to bury her, I had Luciana pick out a plant and a location in the garden. After she was buried, I stayed outside to weed and Luce went in the house. She came out shortly afterward with a brick that she had gotten from our garage and painted as a headstone for our little friend. It was so sweet! ETA: Just to be clear the mouse is very much alive in the picture. :)

Okay, back to our day at the swamp. L., Logan, and Colton spent their time catching bugs. They got some moths and butterflies. The damn deer flies were out in droves, attacking constantly. I learned that I hate them. I wanted to hit them, but I didn't. On our walk to the swamp, we saw deer, raccoon, and turkey tracks. We also saw the biggest snapping turtle I had seen. It was huge! I took my camera out to take a pic, only to get the dreaded "out of battery" message. UGH! I left my case at home (which contains my extra set of batteries), so I was S.O.L.! Hook, Orinda's cat, was very naughty! He trotted into the play area carrying something in his mouth. Upon closer inspection, it was a bird---two birds. One was very dead, and one was very alive. O. does not like the cats to kill birds, so she stepped in. She saved the living sparrow. She was young, uninjured, and scared. She flew away quickly. The dead sparrow, O. took away and hid from Hook, as she didn't want him to get a reward for killing birds. Hook got a little kitty spanking, too, and a lecture about birds. We all know how well cats listen, though. Later, Hook and Willard (O.'s other cat) ran a sting and flushed an adult mouse out and had her trapped for the kill. I was quicker than them, though, and grabbed Hook and held her long enough to let the mouse escape and disappear into the wood chip pile. I am constantly struck by how beautiful nature is, yet at the same time, so very ugly. It was a wonderful day overall.

L & C are such great children. I totally enjoy spending time with them. They are very smart but quite well behaved. O. is a fabulous mother. It's sad how few people I can say that about. I know a lot of parents who love their kids but I would never consider them to be great parents. I have no tolerance for bratty children or their parents! Working full time, keeping up with their huge property, and raising two young boys is hard work! Oh, and she's working on finishing her master's now too. It takes a lot to be a great parent with that much going on, yet she raises those kids better than most SAHM's!

Luciana played with Hunter again after we got home and before we went to my mom & dad's for dinner. They discovered tonight that they both love to draw--another thing they have in common. I got a little weeding done, and Mark took the dogs for a quick walk, so they could get out before they storm hit. We had falafel for dinner and fresh strawberries for dessert. When we got home, we buried our friend. Shortly after the burial, while I was weeding, it started to rain. L came out into the back yard in her undies (only) singing loudly over and over, "I'm nudie in the rain", with lots of giggles. How fun to be so free! I swear if I were 15 pounds lighter, I would have joined her. It was hot, and it really looked fun! We went in when it started pouring. She got to play D&D briefly with Mark, and then it was time to head upstairs for reading/bed.